If I Lost You
by pialicious
Summary: Lily Evans has her own life, and she doesn't care what you think of her. Vanity and self absorption disgust her, and that is exactly why she finds James Potter so repulsing. However, an attack on the school drags her once more into his world.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! **

**First off, I want to apologize for the lateness of this post. When it was deleted, I made the choice not to upload it again until HPB came out, and here it is!**

**This story will be anywhere from 15-20 chapters long, and I will probably upload the first seven chapters every few days.**

**Setting**: Seventh Year, MWPP Era. Lily Evans is a headstrong redhead who doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks of her. She cut herself off from the Marauders when she broke up with her boyfriend, but when an attack on Hogwarts forces her to depend on them again, she is sucked once more into the world of James Potter.

**Disclaimer: Of course I'm not JKR, and I probably will never will be unless aliens abduct me and change me into her, but that's highly unlikely, isn't it? Also, I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anyof the relatedpeople or places,but of course, with your superiour intellect you deducted that from the fact that I already stated, which is that IAM NOTJ.K. Rowling.**

**----**

**T**he cool autumn air seemed to circulate lazily around the concrete paths and houses of Godric's Hollow, rattling the dry leaves gently as it whispered through the trees. All was silent, save for the creaking of porch swings as they twisted in the wind.

The colors of fall had always interested the young man who lazed in the loving arms of an old tree, one of his knees bent. His eye for art gazed around, wishing he had a paintbrush.

The blending of reds,yellows,browns, and greens was catching to the eye, and James dearly wanted to paint a picture of the loveliness-except for the fact that he could only draw stick figures.

Oh well.

He shrugged, content just to watch as the wind blew the leaves around.

Everything was peaceful and even tranquil, until the screen door of James' house was thrown open, smashing against the outside of the house.

The man that stepped forward was enough to ruin _any_ tranquil scene.

Sirius Black, with his dashing good looks and longish,dark hair, was completely disturbing in the way he completely demolished everything around him-in an elegant sort of way. He was a ball of perpetual motion, always doing something, always thinking, and normally talking about what he was thinking about.

The corners of James' mouth lifted in his usual, slightly crooked smile, watching as his friend bounded athletically through the crunching leaves.

"Oy! Prongs!" Sirius called, waving his arms around. "Just got an owl from Moony!" The wind kicked up then, blowing Sirius' hair quite roughly into his face.

"Damn." he cursed, wiping the once carefully-arrayed locks out of his dark eyes.

"What did it say?" James asked in return, swinging his other leg around the tree. One sleeve of his long-sleeved, black t-shirt snagged on the bark, and he jerked it (rather roughly) free.

"He's heading out to Diagon Alley later today, wants to know if we want to come, and can he spend the rest of break here." Sirius replied.

"You're damn lucky you aren't an English teacher." James said mockingly. "Because your own fragmented sentences would horrify _any_ student!"

"Well, at least I know you can't start a sentence with 'because'." Sirius snorted, pelting James with fallen acorns.

"Sod off," James said, slipping out of the tree.

He tossed some leaves on his friend, who quieted, fixing his hair once again.

"So are we gonna go?" Sirius asked, after ridding his black hair of the last twig.

"Sure, let's just go tell mum." James replied, shrugging.

The two boys raced back to the house, as if they were ten instead of sixteen. Sirius cheated, however, by tripping James and making him fall into a rather wet pile of leaves.

James pulled out his wand, charming some of the leaves to stick to Sirius' hair, and was threatening to put a permanent sticking charm on them just as James' mother stepped out onto the porch.

She was dressed in the usual, a plain cotton dress and an apron, with her brunette locks tied up in a high ponytail. She looked very young, and very angry.

"James! What have I told you about using magic in my house!" she snapped, even though her eyes twinkled at him.

"Sorry, mum." James said, scuffing his feet and stomping on Sirius' at the same time.

"He is, Diana, and he promises not to do it again." Sirius said, referring to her by her first name. James, catching the look of motherly affection that passed between his friend and mother, was slightly jealous, even though he knew that Sirius loved her as his own mother, because his own mother had tossed him to the streets.

James told his mother of their plans, and Diana agreed quickly, snapping her fingers. Instantly, the parchment that had their school-supply lists appeared in her hand, and she handed it to Sirius.

"Have fun, boys, and don't harrass any of those poor girls." Diana said, looking meaningfully at both of her charges.

James ran his hands through his hair, grinning at his mother.

"Why would we do a thing like that, mum?" he asked, smiling his notorious smile.

----

**G**etting dressed had always been so boring to her, and she just wanted to get it over with. Finally, at long last, her friend had picked out an outfit, and they were ready to go.

Lily Evans had waited all morning to get out of her friend Hilary's house, but that was just because she wanted to go to Diagon Alley so badly.

All summer, she had been away from her friends from the magical world, having to spend time with her sister Petunia and their parents as they went on vacation to America.

It had been such a bore that Lily had convinced her parents to let her stay with Hilary for the last week of vacation, and the first thing the pair were going to do was go shopping.

Hilary Jenson was a rather plain-looking girl with medium-dark hair that barely brushed the bottom of her chin. She had gotten blonde highlights that summer, and she loved the new look. Her face was thin and her chin slightly pointed, giving her an elfin look.

With thin lips and a small, pointed nose, Hilary looked very much like a mischievous sprite, and Lily often told her so.

For Hilary was very outgoing and troublesome, often dragging her careful and slightly paranoid friend into madcap adventures that Lily _always_ regretted afterwards.

Lily was quite the opposite of Hilary, being shorter and more slender. Her long, fiery red hair was permanently tied back in a ponytail, the curling ends trailing her shoulders.

Today she was dressed casually, in a bright green top that marvelously accented her stunning eyes, and a short miniskirt made of a black material.

Hilary, however, had taken hours choosing the outfit she was now decked out in.

Her long legs were covered by tight, slightly flaring hip-huggers that were a very light, almost white color. Her blouse was of rich cream, buttoning up only halfway, giving anyone who looked a glimpse of exposed cleavage.

"Are we ready yet?" Lily asked boredly, brushing flyaway hairs out of her face. Hilary looked over at her, glaring slightly.

"Do I look okay?" she asked, posing for her friend.

Inwardly, Lily yawned at the shallowness of her friend.

"You look marvelously shaggable." she said in a light, bored tone. She grinned as Hilary chewed on her lip. Hilary and Lily were quite opposite, Hilary being rather vain and perpetually unhappy with her outward appearance. Lily could care less. Lily was often percieved as 'odd' because of the way she looked.

Maybe not the way she looked so much as the way she _acted_. Lily was proud of who she was and didn't give a damn what people said about her.

She often thought that she wasn't terribly pretty, with her orangish hair that was constantly erupting in little curls on her temples, and her green eyes stuck out too much. Her skin was too white, and she had a beauty mark near her lips.

Her lips were something that Hilary always loved to gush about, how they were 'so strange', but Lily thought they were oddly unique, with the upper lip slightly fatter and rounder than the bottom one. It balanced out her face, making her eyes not stick out as much, and her hair less strange. _So why do all the boys chase you? _Hilary often asked. That was a question to which Lily never replied.

Because Lily Evans didn't give a damn what you thought of her.

Hilary was normally fun to be around, with her wild, harebrained ideas that Lily always went along with, but today, Lily found her friend's obsession with her outward appearance slightly annoying.

Actually, it had been annoying her the whole time she stayed with her.

Most seventeen-year-old witches spent their summer breaks researching ways to beautify themselves to get more shagging action when they returned to Hogwarts. Lily didn't care.

Right now, all she wanted was a huge ice-cream cone from Flortescue's, something she had been craving all summer.

"Are you ready _now_?" Lily yawned, brushing those cursed flyaways out of her face once again.

"Yes! Now quit getting hacked off at me!" Hilary snapped back in mock-anger. She held up the perfume bottle she had been holding and squirted it right at her friend.

Lily hissed and threw the nearest thing at her--a box of tissues.

This quarrel soon evolved into an all-out war.

"Now _dearies_," the mirror said. "If you want to arrive in good shape, you best leave now. No sense in tearing up your carefully made-up faces."

"I'll tear your face up." Hilary snapped, spinning the mirror around so that it was facing the wall. "Fucking thing. I told mum not to buy it for me."

"Watch your language." The mirror snapped back. Hilary rolled her brown eyes and picked up her car-keys.

"Let's go, Lil." she said, grinning.

"About bloody time." Lily answered, grabbing her small purse off Hilary's bed.

The two girls sauntered outside, where they quickly boarded Hilary's small Neon that her sister was letting her borrow. Hilary lived a mere twenty minutes away from Diagon Alley, a twenty minutes that the girls spent discussing Hilary's favorite topic-boys.

"Yes, of course I think bloody Sirius Black is handsome." Lily insisted.

"But enough to shag him?"

"Hell no." Lily answered, a disgusted look on her face. "That would be like shagging a...a...I donno."

"An extremely gorgeous statue?" Hilary said helpfully.

"Ugh. That's disgusting." Lily replied. "The words shagging, Sirius Black, and statue should _never_ be used in that close of proximity again, and if you do, I'll charm your hair into snakes."

"That would be horrible." Hilary said with a true valley-girl accent. "I'm just surprised that you're talking to me about this, instead of brooding like you normally do."

"I don't _brood_." Lily said indignantly. "I just don't talk as much as you."

"Nope. You definitally brood. I see you all the time, gazing off into nothingness, probably thinking about _that boy_.."

Lily was suddenly filled with fear. There was no way that Hilary could know about..? Could she? Her face must have shown it, because Hilary laughed.

"So there is a boy."

"No." Lily replied quickly, regaining her usual haughtiness. "You know bloody well that there is, was, and will probably never be a _boy_. Well, not the kind you think. Maybe I'll date again, but it won't be the way you think."

"Again?" Hilary questioned, raising an eyebrow. "There was a first time?"

Lily became calm again, knowing she had an escape from that slipup.

"I told you about Harold Freyan in first year, didn't I?" she asked coolly. Hilary rolled her eyes.

"You are impossible." she stated, her eyes going back to the road.

----

James Potter surveyed the dim room that he had just appeared in. The smoky atmosphere of the Leaky Cauldron always got him into this mood.

"Jamie..." Sirius' voice taunted. "Look who it is."

James followed his friend's gaze, right to a buxom female who was serving drinks to a group of raunchy-looking old men. She was dressed in a too-tight top that was cut low, exposing a vast expanse of cleavage. Her blonde locks were piled in a sloppy bun on her head, crisp curls falling out all about her heart-shaped face.

"Hide me." was all James could say to Sirius before she spotted him with her cat-like grey eyes.

"James Potter!" she squealed. She rushed over and gave him a warm hug, and he could feel her chest being squished against him. Normally that was enough to get him excited, but not now. Not after what she _did_.

"Hello Eryn." he said in a flat voice. "It's nice to see you again, even after..."

Eryn's pretty face darkened in a would-be cute pout.

But James obviously wasn't fooled.

"I thought we were over that, Jamie." she gushed.

"There is no 'we'." James said, trying to keep his voice calm. He gently removed her arms from around his waist, and backed away, mussing up his hair again. "Leave me alone."

"I wanted to..to make things right." Eryn said, her huge eyes filling up with tears. "Can't you listen to me?"

"No. Not even for a second will I believe that." James said, but he knew he was about to cave. He knew what she had done to him..but he also knew that he wasn't a cold-hearted person.

"Please?" she begged. James sighed. The problem with their relationship was that she knew that he could never say no, especially if she cried.

"Only when we get to Hogwarts." he said firmly. "Only then will I talk to you."

Before Eryn could reply to this, the front door of the Leaky Cauldron banged open, and a fire-colored blur rushed in, leaving the door wide open.

"Damn her!" the blur cried, grabbing the nearest glass and dumping it on her hair. Evidently her red hair had caught fire, though how, James had no idea.

"All right, Evans?" he called, stepping out of the corner in which him and Eryn had been talking.

"Do I bloody well look all right, Potter?" Lily Evans hissed. The loathing she felt for him was written all over her face.

"Depends on what you mean by that, Evans." he answered, his blue gaze raking up and down her body. The two had an even odder relationship than James and Eryn, and he never let her forget it.

"Take yourself and your swiney little inuendos away from me." Lily hissed through clenched teeth. "I have to go commit murder."

She turned, and was about to walk away when James grabbed her arm, near the wrist. Lily snapped around and made to slap him, but his look stopped her.

"Who are you going to murder?" he asked kindly, something she did not expect from him. She jerked her arm out of his grasp.

"None of your fucking business." she answered with a hiss. They were both aware that the entire bar was watching them, but neither one really cared.

James eyes darkened to a deep, stormy blue, and Lily knew that she had gotten to him. She took malicious pleasure in that fact.

Besides, who was he to chide her like a three-year old? She hated Potter, with his too-good looks and big-headed attitude. She would much rather eat dirt than spend any more time in his prescense than she had to.

The unfortunate thing was, they had both recently discovered that they would be spending _alot_ of time together this year, since they were to be Head Boy and Girl.

"Get away from me." Lily hissed when James did not say anything. "Go back to your pansy-assed girlfriend and _leave me alone_."

"You always were a bitch, Evans." James replied coolly. "But I never expected that that attitude could grow over the summer, just like your pretty red hair."

"I could say the same of your inflated head." Lily snapped back, turning around and stomping away, successfully this time.

----

"I'm sorry Lily, okay?"

"Not okay." Lily snapped in reply, wringing out her still-wet hair. "But I forgive you, even though any idiot could have told you that cigarette lighters _can really make fire_."

"I'm not the muggle-born here." Hilary said, blushing sheepishly.

"Thanks. As if my day hadn't started bad enough." Lily said, staring blankly as the girls attempted to window-shop the stores of Diagon Alley.

Hilary looked disconcerted, glancing over at her friend.

"Did you meet Potter in there?" she asked, indicating the Leaky Cauldron, which was behind them.

"Yes, and I really don't want to talk about it."

"Why not? I'm all ears." Hilary said encouragingly. "Come on. I'll even buy your favorite."

They stopped at Flortescue's, and Lily sighed before sinking into one of the chairs. The chairs were set beside the cute round tables with the umbrella's sticking out of them. Hilary walked up and bought two huge cones from the outside window, coming back and handing Lily hers with a flourish.

"Now spill." she said with a grin.

"I never agreed to tell you anything." Lily snapped in an irritated fashion. Her friend knew she was joking, however.

Hilary crossed her arms across her chest.

"Fine. Then I'm not apologizing for reading your diary."

Lily looked over at her in mock-horror.

"You read my diary?" she asked, more interested than outraged. Hilary nodded, shaking her brown hair away from her ice-cream.

"Naturally. It was quite interesting, actually." she said.

"What was quite interesting?" the voice of Sirius Black cut in. He was dressed inpeccably in a cotton blue shirt, and he sat down jauntily in between the two girls.

Lily almost grinned, but knew that this boy had just watched her entire interlude with James Potter.

"Me reading Lily's diary, of course." Hilary stated genially. "It is good to see you, Sirius."

"Always." Sirius replied arrogantly. "But tell me about Lily's diary."

With a quick wave of her wand and a muttered word, Lily had her best friend under a powerful silencing charm.

Sirius glanced over at her, smiling.

"I do love it when best friends turn against eachother, just because of me." he said with a winning smile. Lily, for some reason, did not doubt that, especially when the 'best friends' were in the female category.

"I just wanted to say hello." Sirius said, holding up his hands as Lily prepared to silence him too.

"Well, you said it." Lily said, glaring. "Why aren't you with Potter?"

"No no no, Lily." Sirius said, an exasperated look on his face. "_You_ have to say hello too, that way we can have an actual conversation. Let's start over. Hello Lily."

"Go away, Black." Lily hissed, seeing the look of outrage on Hilary's face.

"Say it!"

"Go _away_."

"Say it now, or I will tell Rita Skeeter, the runner of the school's newspaper, that you and I had an illicit affair this summer."

"You wouldn't!" Lily gasped in outrage.

"I would."

"_Fuck_ you, Black."

"I'll tell her you did just that."

"Hello." Lily finally said, through clenched teeth. Sirius raised his dark eyebrows, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Sirius."

"That's much better!" Sirius exclaimed, clapping his hands. "But now, I must depart, fair lady." he glanced at Hilary. "Ladies."

"Black!" Lily screamed, but he had already sauntered away, no doubt to bug some other unsuspecting bystander. She performed the counter-charm for Hilary, and her friend sighed in relief.

"He's an odd one." Hilary said.

"Bloody idiot." Lily hissed, staring at Sirius' retreating back.

----

"Padfoot. Do me a favor."

"Anything, James darling." Sirius teased with a grin.

"Shut _up_." James replied, going back to examining the dust on his Quiddich trophies. They were back at his house, all of their books bought and packed away in their trunks. Tomorrow they would board the train for Hogwarts.

"Moony, toss me those socks." James said. They had met up with Remus earlier in the day, near Eyelops Owl Emporium. Remus had bought himself a nice-looking barn owl, for his old one, Garun, had not returned from his last journey.

The female owl was now seated next to James' eagle owl, Snowbourn, who was a huge white owl with eerie green eyes. Remus' owl was rather small and brown, but very pretty. The boys had decided to name her Triss, after a famous singer.

Remus obliged, throwing the pair of white socks at his friend, who was packing everything up in his trunk.

Sirius was stretched leisurely across James' bed, his lanky frame covering almost the entire thing. His knowing smile made James want to throw something rather large and heavy at him.

Remus looked to and fro at each of their faces, clearly confused.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing." James said, at the same time Sirius laughed.

"Really." Remus prompted. "I feel like Peter."

"Do you want me to tell you?" Sirius asked, ignoring the pair of shoes that James tossed at him.

"Duh." Remus replied, shaking his head at the idiocy of his friend. "Tell now, before James kills you. No, wait wait! Let me guess. It has something to do with a female."

"Ooooh...he's smart." James said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, twat." Sirius hissed. "I think he's on to something. Go on Reemie."

"A certain red-headed Gryffindor?" Remus asked, both eyebrows raised. "I thought you were over her, James."

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Will the lovely ladies please give the gentleman his prize?" Sirius said mockingly, pretending to be holding a microphone. James smacked him with a pillow and Remus sighed.

"What happened this time." he stated, waiting for the whole story to unfold before him. Remus was like that, you see. He was very confident in the fact that he would be told everything, never criticizing, but always giving helpful advice. He also wasn't afraid to tell you when you screwed up, either.

James sighed, raking his fingers roughly through his hair.

"Honestly, could we talk about _anything_ else?" he asked.

"No." Sirius and Remus said simultaneously.

"..Because if you don't get this out, it will bug you for days and days and you'll lose weight because you'll have stopped eating and you will worry and worry until you finally end up committing suicide because you have worried yourself _to death_." Sirius said knowingly.

Remus smacked him upside the head while James sank into his comfy chair by his desk.

"If you really want to know...it's not about Evans."

Both Remus and Sirius let out dramatic gasps.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed. "...another girl?"

"Yes." James said firmly, even though his handsome face was laced with pain. "It's about Eryn McLaughlin."

"That bitch?" Sirius snorted. "I thought you ditched her, after she-"

"I thought I did too." James cut in. Remus watched the conversation with interest, soaking it all up and no doubt thinking up a way to make James' life easier.

"She wants me to 'talk' to her about it." James said flatly.

"Tell her no." Remus said finally. "She doesn't deserve it."

"I'll feel bad, then." James replied, scratching his head again. "We did have ground, if that's what it's to be called."

"Nah. Just forget about her, mate!" Sirius exclaimed. "Tell ya what. I know _exactly_ what will cheer you up. Go snog Evans for a while, and then I'm sure you'll be feeling up to yourself again."

James snorted. As if life were that easy.

"Like Evans would actually let me snog her." he said incredulously.

"Why not? You're not as ugly as _Remus_, and you aren't as mean as...well you think." Sirius said, sniggering.

"I heard that." Remus said in a mock-hurt voice. "And I bet I could snog Evans much quicker than either of you."

"What's the wager?" Sirius asked, his dark eyes lighting up.

"Back off." James snapped irritably. "I saw her first."

Both Remus and Sirius grinned behind their friend's back. They knew that this year, James would finally date the notorious Lily Evans.

"Four hundred and fifty-six times the charm." Sirius muttered.

----

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT U THINK!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Duh. I'm not JKR and you all know it. I don't own Harry Potter or James or any of this other stuff unless you don't recognize it-then I do own it. LoL. **

**Yes this story is rated R for sex scenes and violence and LANGUAGE. So please, don't read it if you don't like that kind of stuff. **

_---_

_---_

_Dom strode into the room and asked jealously, "Are you dressing to please Niall Burke, Skye?"_

_"Rather to please you, my lord,"she said smoothly,"but if my gown displeases you I will change to whatever gives you pleasure."_

_He eyed her carefully. He knew there wouldn't be a woman at tonight's banquet to compare with her. She would be the fairest creature in the hall. And she_

_---**"O**_kay okay! Lil, get out of your 'romance world' and let's go." Hilary's annoyed voice snapped. They had been in the car for a while, riding all the way to King's Cross-Station in London. Lily had become absorbed in her latest cheesy romance novel, _Skye O'Malley_, completely forgetting the world around herShe hopped out of the car, joining Hilary outside. She breathed in deep the smell of trains as they hauled their trunks through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4. Lily grinned. She was going home.

They were all there, the people that she knew. Friends greeted each other with smiles, hugging, and laughter. Lily loved friendship and the way people worked together, but she had never really experienced that close of a bond with anybody.

That was why she had befriended Hilary, who had once been a shy person. She had been wallowing in her self-hatred and depression, not even attempting to make friends. Hilary needed to be within Lily's incredible confidence in order to become her true self.

Lily looked around, unconsciously pulling her shirt down as she did. Today she was decked in her favorite casual outfit, a black T-shirt and pale grey pants. The shirt, unfortunately, had shrunk in the wash. Hilary had laughed and laughed, seeing Lily's midriff and knowing her friend's loathing at looking like a slut.

Lily's head was spinning. She had just spent the better part of two hours reading in a car, something that always made her feel ill, and she was definitely not looking forward to spending the rest of her day in an enclosed compartment with Potter.

Little did she know that, miles away, he was thinking the same thing.

_---_

_She's mad at me._

He pulled his shirt on over his messy hair

_She's really hacked off this time. I shouldn't have called her a bitch._

He grabbed a pair of dark stonewash jeans off the floor and pulled them on over his boxers

_She's going to kill me._

"JAMES!" a voice called from outside his door. He jumped in the motion of attempting to comb his hair and opened the door.

"Hi Remus." he said with a relieved sigh, not really wanting to be bugged by Sirius at this time of day. If it had been Sirius, he probably would have thrown something rather large and heavy at his head.

Remus was looking rather ill this morning. His sandy hair hung limply into his glacier-colored eyes, and his pale complexion and drawn face added to his rather wan appearance.

"What's wrong?" both boys asked each other at the same time. James grinned slowly, answering first and telling Remus about how he had to share the Head's compartment on the train with Evans.

"Don't worry. She probably got over the whole episode from yesterday." Remus said, shrugging in his normal good-natured fashion.

How did you know about that?" James asked, remembering with displeasure his meetings with Eryn, and then Lily yesterday.

"Prongs." Remus answered breezily. "Don't worry, she will probably just ignore you the whole time."

"Optimism." James said boredly, trying fruitlessly to flatten his hair. "It's something I could use right now

"Well I can't help you with that." Remus replied, a ghost of a smile on his pale face. He leaned down and picked something up off the ground, tossing it at his friend. "But that should help your hair problem."

It was a white cap with blue lettering. James shrugged and crushed it gratefully on his head.

"Now. Tell me what's got you looking so peaky." James said, turning back to Remus.

"Guess." Remus said lamely, brushing his limp locks off his forehead. When James didn't reply, he continued. "It's that time again…So I'll be staying here. Your parents said they would set up...facilities for me for the next few days." He shrugged, looking anywhere but at James. "Rather nice of them, really."

James understood why it was so hard for Remus to accept favors from adults. Remus had told him long ago a secret that he vowed on his life never to tell a soul. Remus had been kicked out of his own family when they found out what had happened to him. He had been living with a partially insane uncle ever since he was eight. But recently, he had taken to spending most of his summers at James' house, along with Sirius.

James knew he had to break the somewhat awkward silence by changing the subject.

"So, you going to get back together with Madellin?" he asked offhandedly, tossing his last pair of socks into his trunk.

Could we talk about _anything_ else?" Remus said, pulling a rather amusing grimace. "Oh yes! Your mum said to go on downstairs, it's time to floo to the station."

James grinned, hurriedly clamping his trunk shut and dragging it out of the room.

"I'll see you on Wednesday, Moony." he called back. He did not see the pained expression on his friend's face as he sat down into a chair.

_---_

Lily finally found a doorway of the train that was not being filled with people, and she dragged the cart containing her trunk over to it. She pulled the trunk off the cart and began to struggle in pushing the heavy trunk up the steep stairs to the train.

She almost had it when her hair-tie slipped out, momentarily blinding her with a shower of her own hair. This caused the huge trunk to slip all the way back to the ground, avoiding her toes only by her catching it hastily. It was dangerously close to hitting the ground when she sensed someone behind her. Lily whirled, forgetting the trunk and dropping it painfully on her foot.

"Hello." James Potter said kindly, apparently not seeing that Lily was in extreme pain. "I wanted to apologize for calling you a bitch yesterday."

Lily glared at him, making her way toward him but tripping, because she was still hopping on one foot. She ended up falling rudely onto her bum on the pavement, staring at the looming form of James Potter

He smirked down at her, and Lily glared all the harder.

In actuality, he was trying to grin sympathetically, but he was struggling to hold back a laugh. His eyes were hidden from her view by his white cap, so she didn't notice that twinkle that had momentarily been kindled there.

He held out a hand, which she refused rather blatantly, pulling herself up and wincing as her foot hit the ground.

"What do you want this time, Potter?" she snapped, going back to her chore of heaving the huge trunk up the stairs.

"I told you, I wanted to apologize."

"Sure." Lily hissed in reply. Even without looking at him she knew that he didn't mean it. All she wanted right now was to be on the train, her stupid trunk tucked away where she couldn't look at the cursed thing.

James watched her struggle for a minute before speaking again.

"Did it ever occur to you to ask for help? Or is that out of almighty Lily's code of conduct?"

"It's Evans." She snapped distractedly. "And no. Besides, no one would bother helping anyway."

James moved forward, quickly pushing her trunk up the seemingly impossible stairs with ease. He then turned to grin at her.

"That's where you're wrong.," he said softly, leaning close to her ear. Lily raised a hand to slap him, but he had already disappeared into the throngs of people boarding the train. She watched with a glare as his muscular back faded into the crowd.

She turned, deciding to head on up to her compartment, when she was interrupted by Hilary, who was standing on the steps, arms crossed.

"So there is a boy." Hilary said, her mouth quirking with humor. "But Lily, of all boys..._that_ boy? I never even imagined-"

Lily cut her off with a quick clearing of her throat.

"Of course not!" she said acidly. "I could never feel anything but loathing for the despicable Potter."

Hilary grinned, not saying another word.

_---_

"Why don't you just ask her out?" Sirius asked, handing James a Treacle Tart.

"Are you taking the mickey?" James said incredulously. "She'd rip my head off!"

"I'm not even going to bother asking 'which one', because I've recently discovered that dear Lillikins is, in fact, a virgin." Sirius said smoothly, inspecting a creamy confection before popping it into his mouth. He looked across the compartment at Peter, who was reading a magazine.

"Want one, Wormtail?" he asked.

Peter looked up, shaking his head.

"I'm just getting to the good part, Sirius." he said in an annoyed manner, nosing back into his magazine.

"Sure." Sirius said, his attention going back to James, who had been staring open-mouthed at him for the past two minutes.

"A_ virgin!_ She's a virgin?"

"No shit. I wonder where you heard that." Sirius said, copying Peter's annoyed attitude. "You think I would lie to you?"

"No, but still." James was staring rather hard at a wall. "That's very...interesting."

"Hm." was all Sirius replied, glancing back into his pile of sugary-sweet candies. "You should be getting to the Head's compartment."

"Thanks. I can see where I'm not wanted." James said in a mock-huffy manner, smacking Sirius upside the head. "You know where I'll be." he stood up and backed out of the compartment, making his way towards the Prefect's car, where the Head's compartment was located.

---

"Don't bother saying 'hello'." she snapped, as soon as he walked in. "I can't hear you, besides."

She was stretched out across one side of the compartment, leaving the whole other seat to James. Her tennis shoes were pressed up against one wall, while her back leaned up against the outside window. Her muggle headset was turned all the way up, and she was drawing in what James recognized as a sketchbook.

"Hello." he said lamely, sitting down across from her. He bunched his legs up in the small space, staring at her all the while.

He took in all of it, looking at her hard and trying to see how much she had changed over the summer. He had every plane of her face memorized in his brain, and it was all the same.

Sirius had often laughed at him for his mild obsession with the girl, and they both had thought it had disappeared these past two years.

...They were wrong.

After losing Eryn, James fell hard and fast for the gorgeous redhead that had haunted his dreams for so many years. He knew he had never really loved Eryn, she had just been a rebound._'How can you have a rebound relationship when you never really dated the girl you were rebounding off of?' --_Sirius had asked him that once.

It's because he had been so upset over what she had said to him that night, the night James had caught her in the library with...

A pair of green eyes staring directly into his cut James' reminiscing short

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked, yanking her headphones off.

"Nothing else to look at." James answered irritably, still caught up in memories of last year.

Listen, Potter. I don't know what Dumbledore's got in his crazy old head. But this whole Head Boy/Girl thing is not going to work." Lily stated acidly, closing her sketchbook and sitting up. "I can't bear to be even this close to you, so-"

_"What's wrong,_ Evans?" he hissed, memories forgotten. "Is my pure-bloodedness not good enough for you?"

She regarded him calmly through those amazing green orbs.

"Actually, it's your swollen head that gets me." she said coolly. "The whole pure-blooded, half-blooded mania really never bugged me, actually."

That hit James rather hard. He had always thought that she had detested him for his lineage. Apparently he was wrong.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked, looking at her face from underneath his cap. He noticed her defenses tighten, and she looked even angrier than before.

"Because you are a crazy psychopath stalker who never lets me forget--" her voice broke off and she glared. "Because you are a spoiled little maniac who goes out of his way to ruin my life."

"Never let's you forget what, Lily?" he questioned.

She sighed angrily.

"See! There's my point! You completely disregard any insults I have for you just so you can _pry_ into my life. And it's EVANS."

"Do you act like this toward all your friends?" he asked, changing the subject. He knew from experience that she was about to fly off the handle.

"For your information, Potter, you aren't included in the category, so it shouldn't matter, should it?" she snapped. Who did he think he was, provoking her and being a nosy prat all the time?

"What category am I 'included' in?" he asked, unable to resist the temptation of irking her further.

"The nosy, annoying, _twat_ category, you fucking idiot." she hissed, dragging her headphones back onto her ears once more and turning towards the wall.

_---_

All he could do was stare. She was absolutely beautiful.

Lily Evans was sprawled out across a train compartment seat, one knee bent, and the other leg falling onto the floor. Her hair had come out again, lying on her shoulders like a fire-colored halo.

His chest tightened and he sighed wearily as he gazed at her sleeping form. He pulled his hat off and raked his fingers through his thick hair, trying to calm himself down. What he wouldn't give to touch her, to tell her how he felt.

His gaze traveled up her slender feet all the way to her head, taking in every detail and remembering it_.Am I really a crazy stalker?_ He asked himself. He grinned inwardly. _Did she know how drop-dead gorgeous she was when she was angry?_ The significance of her hurtful words seemed to slide away as he realized her pretty face flushed pink in anger, and he hoped against hope that she didn't mean it._Maybe I should give up_, he thought miserably. _Maybe there really is no chance for us to become 'James and Lily'._He glanced at his watch, and then looked outside. They were about ten minutes away from the castle, and Lily was still sound asleep. He really didn't want to, but he would have felt bad if he didn't. He leaned forward and placed on of his large hands on her shoulder, shaking her awake.

"Evans. We're almost to the castle." he said gruffly, forcing his heart not to lurch as her eyes opened in surprise.

She nodded, pulling the headset off and placing it on the seat. Then she turned around, digging through her small duffel bag._Shit_. _Why didn't I change before I got on the train?_ She mentally punched herself, pulling out her robes.

She glanced over at Potter, who was innocently twiddling his thumbs and looking out the window. She glared, knowing he would be watching her every move.

Oh well. Let him stare.

She pulled off her T-shirt, quickly strapping on her button-up school blouse. She inched her sweats off her legs, kicking them away and grimacing when they landed on Potter's shoe. For the moment, Lily ignored that, throwing on the rest of her uniform and refraining from exposing her body to Potter for a prolonged period of time.

"Very nice show you put on." James said, peering out from under his hat. Lily ignored him, not having forgotten their argument from earlier. He actually hadn't looked, respecting her privacy. But more…he wanted to prove that he wasn't a crazy psychopath stalker. In saying that, Lily had unknowingly challenged him.

And James Potter never could turn down a challenge.

_...reviews make me update faster, you know... :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_---_

The dark figure shuddered, pulling the cloak tighter about them. This was worse than anything they had ever expected.

Darkness seems to close in on you even more when you are alone, but not in this case. They were not alone at all, but the curtain of nothingness would not be lifted. Neither wand nor candlelight could have penetrated this.

_You did well._

Another shudder...but this one was of sheer delight. It was not often that the Dark Lord praised his followers, but this was a special case.

"Only for you." they whispered back reverently, bowing their head.

_Was it now? Don't lie to me. Remember, the Dark Lord knows all._

"There was no other reason." Desperation filled the voice of the speaker. But this time, they knew that they should have told him, should have explained.

_Yes. You should have. Why did you not? _

The head dropped in shame, and the wracking sobs emitted from the figure made Lord Voldemort grimace in disgust.

"I didn't tell you...because I remembered what happened to the other."

_You answer swiftly. Were you expecting this interrogation?_

"O-of course not."

Voldemort caught the stammer, and his eyes lit up, shining through the darkness like catlike slits from the abyss itself. To their surprise, his spidery hand snaked out to raise their chin, forcing their eyes to meet his own.

"_You will not be like the other_." he said aloud. "_I have another use for you_."

"What is it?"

"_An unfinished task. The very thing we were just speaking of...tainted your last assignment. This time, do it right."_ he placed the charmed object into the other figure's hand, his touch cool and soft, like that of one long dead. They could feel the sharp edges and small ridges of the object, but could not guess the origin of it.

"_You will receive more instruction from Malfoy. Now go_." he turned away, and the figure was gone in a wisp of smoke.

---

"It's the thirteenth time I've looked upon the castle from this train, and the feeling never changes."

Lily did not expect James to speak, and his words startled her. They were now settling in their familiar enmity, something that did not happen often. It was freak chance that both of them were kind to each other in the same moment. James had even counted these rare happenings.

"Isn't all that great." Lily said sourly, even though she was feeling the same way James looked. _I'm home_.

James turned from looking out the window to face her, his hazel eyes hooded and unreadable.

"Why do you hide the way you feel?" he asked. Lily felt uncomfortable, because it was strange to talk to him without arguing. Also, she didn't know how to truly open up to another human, so she did what she knew how to do, she scoffed.

"I don't hide the way I feel." she said in a sickly sweet voice, her eyes widened in an innocent manner.. "Doesn't it show how much I can't stand you?"

James didn't answer, but turned back toward the window, arms folded across his muscular chest. Lily's cruel demeanor wilted a little,partly because he didn't react to her insult. She watched the lights of the castle loom closer until the train finally stopped, jolting her with a 'bump' onto the floor, near James' feet.

For the second time that day, he offered her a hand, and this time she accepted by hauling herself to her feet. His hand was warm and callused, and she dropped it as if she had been burned. She glanced up at him to see a smirk lighted on his handsome face, but again, he did not say anything.

She brushed past him, flicking her wand and charming her trunk to follow behind her, walking out the door. She could tell James was close by, just by the sound of his even breathing behind her.

She stepped off the train, watching as people began to file out, laughing joyfully with their friends. The scared-looking first years boarded their boats, folding their hands and not daring to look into the deep, black water.

"Let's go."

Lily jumped at the sound of James' voice, and the feeling of his breath tickling her ear. She nodded quickly, stepping away and walking toward the horseless carriages that James had pointed out.

She hopped in, a feeling of excitement jumping around in her stomach and making her smile.

---

"This is the Head's carriage! You can't ride in here!" Lily snapped as two boys tumbled in behind James.

"You just want the excuse to be alone with Prongs." Sirius slurred, grinning and putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Oh god." she moaned, shoving him away. "You're drunk, you ass."

"Damn straight." Sirius replied dumbly.

"Well keep your nasty breath to yourself." Lily said huffily.

"Why? I want to share it with you." Sirius said, leaning forward and puckering his lips comically.

Lily looked over at James and glared, as if this whole escapade had been his idea. James shrugged, looking out the window. It was not he, however, that spoke up.

"Are you going to turn him in, Lily?" The boy that Lily dimly recognized as Peter Pettigrew asked, looking distressed.

"Of course!" Lily answered, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's disgusting that he would sneak alcohol onto the train and--"

"But considering your _history_ with him, I don't think that's a very good idea." James cut in slyly. "People would suspect..." he let his voice trail off convincingly. "You know."

Lily reddened. She was glad that the darkness hid her blush, and she hated James Potter more than anything at the moment. And yet, she took a page out of his book and ignored him, turning to the window.

The carriage lurched into motion, and the rest of the ride was silent after that.

---

James shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his robe, following Lily as she walked through the doors to the Great Hall. They were supposed to meet Dumbledore at the staff table before he began the annual announcements.

Lily's shoes seemed to make too much noise on the marble floor. James wondered about this until he realized that everyone had become completely silent as the pair walked by.

That's odd. He thought to himself. He then did a double take, realizing why everyone was so appalled.

Here they were, Head Boy and Girl.

James Potter, the biggest, most arrogant prankster of the school and formerly percieved "innocent bookworm"but really a fireballLily Evans. Their shared hatred for each other wasn't exactly a secret. Practically the entire school knew about every argument.

They finished what seemed like the 'Walk of Truth', reaching the Staff table in record time. Dumbledore was there, smiling his mysterious and seemingly knowing smile.

"You wanted to see us?" Lily said tentatively, crossing her arms.

"Yes, yes. From now on, you two will be sitting at the head of the Prefect's table during mealtimes." he said calmly, smiling slightly at the looks of horror on James and Lily's faces.

"The Prefects get a choice to sit there or not..." James said, having asked Remus that question before. "Do we?"

"As long as you both sit there together twice a week to speak with the Prefects about whatever you're working on at that time." Dumbledore replied. "Now I must make our announcements, and then, of course, the Sorting."

"...Then do we eat?" James asked apologetically.

"Yes, then we can fulfill our bodily needs." Dumbledore replied, turning away.

Lily turned to walk towards the Prefect's table, muttering. James caught up with her easily.

"...Crazy old nutter." she mumbled, indirectly trying to start a conversation with James, especially since she was embarrassed about their earlier conversation.

But James wasn't listening, but looking at Lily and thinking about 'bodily needs'. His hot gaze traveled from her face downward, and if she had known she would probably slap him.

She sat down wearily at the table, listening to the Sorting with only half her brain, the other half trying to think of ways to make Potter forget about the things he had been insulting her about earlier.

She thought about this the entire dinner, hardly eating anything and hoping no one noticed. Of course, James did. When she wasn't looking he piled more potatoes and meat on her plate, and she ate them distractedly. He smiled, but was curious to what she was thinking about in that scheming little brain.

He had been approached by a lot of his friends. They were either people he knew from Quiddich, ex-girlfriends, people he had hexed and then apologized to, or girls he often helped with homework. Lily, on the other hand, had not talked to a single soul.

James always wondered why Lily did not have many friends. She pretended to be mean and cruel, but he knew she was truly a considerate, sweet person. She just never had the chance to act like that around him, never being able to get over what a prat he was when he was younger.

James narrowed his brow, instinctively hardening his heart against this girl. He wasn't going to forgive her this time...oh no. This time she would pay for insulting him on the train.

---

"Now that you're the big HB, you get to use the Prefect's restroom." Peter said laughingly. "Padfoot always wished he was a Prefect just for that reason."

"For about ten seconds." James snorted. "He would be an awful Prefect. By the way, where did he get to? I didn't see him after we got out of the carriages."

Peter laughed. "He went up to the dorm and passed out on his bed."

"Without a password?" James asked. The two friends were walking leisurely down the halls up to the Gryffindor common room, taking their time. Peter wasn't really a shy person; he just only really got along well with James. It had been James that had invited him into the boys' clique way back in second year.

Peter rolled his eyes.

"You know Sirius..the fat lady is in love with him! He could charm his way out of a box if he wanted to, and she drools over him."

"Seems like all females do." James said wryly, thinking of all the ex-girlfriends that had said 'hi' to Sirius on the train.

"Well, I'm exhausted. " Peter said, his round face stretching into a yawn. "I'm heading up to the dorm. You coming?"

James shook his head. "I'm going to walk around a bit more."

Peter shrugged. "Suit yourself." And with that he turned and walked away, narrowly missing the invisible stair as he walked up the staircase. James grinned and turned around, heading toward the kitchen.

He loved wandering the halls at night, just because it was something he was good at. Even without his cloak he could slip silently into the most heavily guarded rooms, investigating anything he wanted to.

He stopped in and said 'Hello' to his favorite house-elves, finally deciding to head up to bed.

He whispered the password to the Fat Lady, who smiled hugely at him and swung open. He walked through the corridor into the common room, looking lovingly about the all-too-familiar surroundings. Everyone had already gone up to bed.

Well..almost everyone.

James knew that she would be there. For the second time that day, he caught Lily Evans sleeping. He knew that every year she always slept on her favorite couch on the first day back, and there she was. He guessed that she probably didn't feel like arguing with the other girls, just felt like being alone in the school that she loved.

He walked over to her and again was struck by how peaceful she looked when she was asleep. He was overcome by a powerful urge of passion even though he told himself to feel nothing for her. He leaned over and brushed his lips over her eyelids in a feathery kiss, running his fingers down her delicate cheekbones.

"I wish we could have a future together." he whispered in her ear. She rolled over, muttering.

He brushed her hair out of her face and stood up, glancing at her one more time before heading upstairs.

---

"Evans! Get off your arse and come on!" a nasty voice awoke Lily from her pleasant…wait, _did I just think 'pleasant'?_, dream. Lily snapped to attention and came face-to-face with an old house rival.

Samantha Burghely was a seventh year Gryffindor who took crap from _no one_, and pointed this out on several occasions. Her tall, imposing form was enough to strike fear into the hearts of many, but not Lily Evans.

"What do you want, Burg-elly?" Lily asked, using a taunting old nickname she had devised in second year. Samantha rolled her dark eyes, holding out a hand to haul Lily off the couch.

"You're Head Girl, and since I'm a Prefect I got chosen to deliver you a message." Samantha said.

"What's the message?" Lily asked, wondering if she should believe a word of it.

"There's a transfer down in the Great Hall waiting to shadow someone, and McGonagall said that you would be the best choice. She wants you and James to meet her there in," she checked the watch on her slender wrist. "Three minutes."

"Bloody Hell!" Lily swore, throwing her hair back and straightening her slept-in robes. She left her rival standing there speechless, running quickly out the portrait hole.

She ran into James at the staircase right before the Great Hall. He was looking rather tired, with bags under his hazel eyes and his hair a little flatter than usual. But nonetheless his robes were in excellent condition, his tie tucked perfectly in beneath the black fabric of his cloak.

"Did you hear?" he asked, eyeing her attire skeptically. When she shook her head, he continued. "There's a seventh year girl who is transferring from somewhere. Supposedly she is supposed to trail us today to figure out her schedule."

"Oh." Was all that Lily replied, not even looking at him. His eyes narrowed, and he knew that this was the bad start of a long day.

The two walked in awkward silence down to the Great Hall. Lily ignored James, James pretended to ignore Lily.

Lily spotted Professor McGonagall standing by a suit of armor to the left, talking rapidly to a female that looked to be around Hilary's height.

As she got closer, she saw that the girl had chestnut-colored hair that fell in casual waves on her thin shoulders. Her face was the classical heart-shape, with rather large lips and a high forehead. Her eyes were a dull, hazy green. All in all, she looked like a much-prettier version of Narcissa Black, a Slytherin with a bad attitude.

"Ah. Here they come now." McGonagall was saying as she spotted Lily approaching with James at her heels. "This is our Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans."

"Hello." The girl said curtly. "My name is Tevyn, but no one calls me that. I'm more commonly known as Vyn." She had a rather brisk accent that Lily had trouble placing. She figured it was some form of American, but she couldn't tell.

"Hello Vyn." James finally said, breaking the awkward silence that Lily had created. He stepped forward and shook her hand, and Vyn smiled tenuously at him.

"Well, now that the introductions are over." McGonagall said, raising her eyebrows at Lily, who still did not greet the new girl. "I think you all should go to your first class, since you slept through breakfast."

"Thank you, Professor." James said, in a (what Lily thought) oddly polite and mature attitude for him. He gently steered Vyn out of the Great Hall and into the nearest corridor, immedietaly starting to tell her all about Hogwarts. Lily stood still for a moment before deciding to follow them, jogging slightly to keep up.

"What is your first class?" Vyn was asking.

"History of Magic. Boring class." James replied, grinning. Vyn laughed, shaking her hair out of her face.

"I didn't like that class much either." She said.

"Where did you go before?" James queried. He glanced at Lily, who was staring hard ahead of her, completely oblivious to the world around her.

"The Salem Witches Institute, which is in Boston. I actually lived in New York, though. It was a mere matter of apparating to classes every day. Quite fun, actually." Vyn replied. She seemed like a very outgoing person, just by the way she easily sank into conversation with James.

However, Lily knew that not that many people had trouble falling in love with James. He was just easy to talk to, unless you were a Slytherin…or Lily Evans.

"Ah, so that's what the accent was." James said laughingly. "I was wondering."

Lily ignored the rest of her conversation, trying to remember the details of her dream the night before. She grimaced, knowing she would end up telling Hilary. What will she _think?_ Lily thought to herself, ignoring the pair beside her.

They entered the History of Magic classroom without Professor Binns even noticing that there was a new student there. Everyone else, however, rushed over to say hello and talk to the 'new kid'. It was very rare that people transferred into Hogwarts, and they all wanted to speak to the new phenomenon.

Hilary had saved Lily's normal seat for her, which Lily sank into appreciatively.

"What's up?" Hilary asked, instantly recognizing that something was bugging her friend. She followed Lily's glare up to James, who was performing simple sleight-of-hand tricks to impress Vyn.

"Oh, jealous of the new girl?"

"No!" Lily answered. "He's just annoying, is all. Imagine having to spend time with that…_that—"_ her voice was cut off by a loud giggle from Vyn, because James had transformed his own hands into the paws of a dog and was making footprints all over Binns' desk.

"You see my point?" Lily said incredulously. "He preaches day and night about how he's _so_ in love with me, and the first hot thing that passes by him he completely ditches me and—"

"Wait." Hilary interrupted. "I thought you didn't even like him?"

"I don't." Lily said firmly. "I'm just-"

"Jealous." Hilary said. "I can completely tell. Now don't even try to prove me wrong, because Binns is about to notice that we haven't started class yet."

Sure enough, the wizened old professor was telling everyone to sit down. James sat down near the front, pulling out a chair for the chestnut-haired female who was smiling so hugely at him. Lily grimaced in disgust, forcing herself to try and pay attention.

………………..it didn't work.

After about twenty minutes, Lily gave up trying to make sense out of Binns' monotonous lecture, pulling out some parchment to write notes to Hilary.

_L: I had a really odd dream last night._

_H: About what?_

_L: Don't you DARE say a word---Potter._

_H: HAH! _

_L: I won't count that as a word._

_H: What was it about? Tell me _all

_L: Don't fly off the handle, okay?_

_H: Sure. Tell on._

_L: Well, it was like…odd._

At that moment, Lily decided that she did not want to tell Hilary about that dream. It had been too…erotic and sensual. It had been the first time that Lily had dreamed of a boy like that. She made a face, wishing it could have been anyone, _anyone_ but James Potter. Hilary smacked her on the shoulder.

_H: Are you going to tell me, or not?_

_L: No, it was sick._

_H: Sick as how? As in you were shagging him,sick?_

_L: Yeah…_

_H: How is that sick? That's adorable! You know you're meant to be with him if you _dream _of him._

_L: It disturbs me, actually. It was like he was really there, touching my face or something._

_H: Aaah, Sirius is trying to read this! _

He was, actually. Hilary quickly stowed the note in her pocket, meaning to write more later. But she forgot, getting into an animated conversation with a Ravenclaw on her left. Lily merely sat boredly through the rest of the class, trying not to think about her current situation. She now wished that she had never told Hilary.

---

James looked over at Vyn, who was packing up her things for their next class. She was a sweet girl, and he could tell that she was falling for him, hard and fast. Maybe this was a good thing, he told himself. I didn't think of Lily this entire period.

He stood up, cursing quietly when his quill fell out of his pocket. He looked up to see that Vyn was still waiting for him, grinning slightly. He stood up and walked over to her, leading her to their next class.

---

Lily was on the edge of her seat in Potions, her worst class. It had been two weeks since they started the term, and she already knew that she would have to work her ass off to actually pass Potions on her N. E. W. T.'s. In fifth year, she had done the dumb thing and decided to take on advanced Potions. Now she hated herself for it.

Their teacher, Professor Kelpily, was an old man who was very adept at turning the simplest Potion seem like the most puzzling thing in the world. That was why only two Gryffindors had decided to take the N. E. W. T. level class. At the moment he was explaining the first project of the year to them—something that Lily knew would take her a long time.

They were supposed to create their own antidote to the Buttreasu poison. The Buttreasu was a flower located in Romania somewhere. It was so deadly because it could sense your emotions. If you were particularly angry, it would attach its deadly spores onto your clothes until they had absorbed into your bloodstream. It you were happy, however, it would leave you alone.

"And this project will be a team effort." Kelpily stated, handing out the parameters for the project. "I have already chosen your partners, and their names are written on the top of your paper."

Lily sighed, wondering what oaf she had been partnered with. The class was fairly small, mostly because it was one of the hardest you could take. On second thought, Lily really wouldn't mind being partnered with anyone except for—

"Sirius Black! _Damn!_" Lily swore aloud, grabbing her paper and catching up to Professor Kelpily. "Professor, there must be a mistake! I can't work with—"

"Of course you can, Miss Evans." Kelpily said, looking down his large nose at her. "It was completely random that the two Gryffindors were picked to be partnered. Frankly, I think you should be thankful."

"Thankful, Professor?" Lily asked, spotting the dark-haired Black snoozing leisurely across two chairs in the back of the room.

"Why, Mr. Black currently has the best grade in the class, whereas you have the worst." Kelpily said. Lily blushed in embarrassment as the nearby Slytherins sniggered rudely.

"It's only been two weeks." She muttered.

"Yes, but working with Black will bring up your, ah. Your T." Kelpily said, eyeing her grade on his clipboard.

"What does Sirius have?" Lily asked, ignoring the continued sniggers.

"Currently an O, but that's only because he did exceptionally well on my Morphing Potion exam." The Professor replied. "Now kindly go back to your seat."

---

**Hello! I am so happy that you guys have been giving some reviews. Thank you so much for the quick responses!**

**Also, I've noticed that I have a huge hit count, but very little actual reviews. If there is something you don't like, would you please take the time to review and tell me what is wrong** **with it? All criticism is accepted! Just don't be too cruel, please. laughs**

**Well, anyway. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you think!**

**--Pia**


	4. Chapter 4

**_TO THE READERS:_**

**A few of you had comments about Lily being terrible in potions. First off, this was all written before HBP came out, and Lily's failings as a potions student were originally modeled after terrible Harry is, creating a family resemblence. Now, I realize that this is no longer canon, and I apologize most sincerely, but I will not be changing it.**

**To those of you who were unhappy with this, do not worry, because Slughorn will appear in this story, and he will see Lily as a magnificent potions student. And if you want to see why, you will have to continue reading. --**

**Thanks so much for your support. Oh yeah, I know James' eyes are hazel, but they're blue in this story. Also not canon. Sorry about that, but it won't be changed. **

**...Review!**

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* * *

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_I hope this is the last major project I get assigned this week._ Lily thought as she scribbled down the parameters in her Care of Magical Creatures notebook. Professor Kettleburn was in St. Mungo's at the moment, and the attractive woman that was filling in for him was having a rather difficult time reading the notes the dilapidated professor had left for the project.

They were outside, as was the norm for Care of Magical Creatures class. It was a rather warm fall day, causing irritation in teacher and class alike.Everyone was slightly on edge, just because it was the last class before lunch. Already they could see people dotting the grounds, eating their lunches on conjured picnic blankets.

Lily's shirt was unbuttoned about three buttons, revealing a glimpse of her sun-dusted collarbones. She couldn't help feeling like a slut, but it was _hot_ out there. The heat was wearing on everyone, except a couple who were lounging under a huge pink umbrella.

James had conjured this umbrella just so Tevyn wouldn't have to sit in the sun, and it incensed Lily.

"That's so disgusting." She said aloud, watching as James made sure Vyn was happy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone hop up onto the fence next to her, and she turned to face Sirius Black, whose hair was laying flat on his forehead for once.

He had definitely matured over the summer, Lily thought, letting her gaze wander over his face. He was much leaner now, being slightly more stocky and shorter the year before. His face was dark and brooding at the moment, his eyes raking the landscape.

It was not hard for Lily to remember why she had been so taken with him the year before. When they had been together, it had been wild and so _delicious_, that Lily felt she never wanted to be apart from him. It was not anything that had happened between them physically, because Lily was still a virgin.

She guessed it was just the sheer magnetism that he gave off, that electricity that drew her in and held her. He was so charming and funny and so goddamn _smart_. You couldn't _not_ like Sirius Black.

"What's disgusting?" his voice broke into her thoughts. He seemed rather annoyed, and she guessed that he had been asking that question for the past five minutes, while she remembered their former relationship.

"Oh. Sorry." She said.

"Sorry?" he repeated, tearing his eyes off the horizon and looking at her in astonishment. "Didst thou just apologize to _me_?"

She shrugged.

"You're not Potter." She pointed out. "It isn't _that_ rare of a phenomenon." He grinned, jerking his head in the direction of the umbrella couple.

"That what you were talking about?" he asked. " 'Bout being disgusting?"

Lily shrugged again, not completely comfortable conversing with him like this. Apparently, he did not notice.

"So how was your summer, Evans?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?" he questioned, still looking at her.

"Yeah."

"Well, mine was too. Especially when..." he cringed for a second, his voice trailing off.Lily couldn't help herself. She was incredibly curious.

"What happened?" she asked, smiling and wondering.

"It was rather funny, actually." Sirius said, but Lily could tell something was wrong. His face was dark and brooding again, and she was worried that he wasn't going to tell her.

"Just tell me." she said, infinitely curious about his wistful expression. He sighed, once again raking his fingers through his hair.

"Maybe some other time, love."

Lily shrugged, outwardly pretending not to care. She really did want to know what had him looking so removed.

---

Sirius could see Lily's heated, angry eyes as they slipped back over James, glaring holes in the back of his best friend's head.

_Why, Lily Evans: jealous? No way._

But as the class period progressed, he surmised that this was most indefinitely the case. Her entire body was stiff and unfeeling, but he knew she was burning inside.

He chuckled to himself. Maybe she finally realized that James wasn't all love notes and poetry. He wasn't going to sit under her window forever and wait for her to come out.

Yes...he thought. Maybe that's exactly what James was doing. Instead of sitting under her window, he just went straight to breaking the glass.

_Let's make this a little more interesting._ Sirius thought, a plan already forming in his clever mind. He would have Lily and James dating in a snap, but he needed some backup.

As soon as the class was over, he hopped down from the fence, looking up at Lily.

"Have lunch with me?" he asked, turning on his charm. He knew she would never turn him down, and to his delight, she smiled at him.

"I guess." she said quietly, then, as swiftly as it appeared,her smile disappated as if this was something horrible she was being forced into. But inside, she was jumping with joy. Lately her lunches had been rather dreary, sitting with Hilary and listening to her chat about her new boyfriend.

This lunch would be spent with Hogwart's finest, Sirius Black: charmer, Marauder, and _James' best friend._

---

"Hey, Vyn." James called, shoving his books back into his over-the-shoulder bag. Vyn was up ahead, already starting up the hill to the castle. She turned around, smiling warmly when she realized who it was.

James had been very kind to her these past few days, and she already was starting to think of him as her best friend, her brother even. She could tell that the feeling was mutual. At first she thought that this could be a man worth falling in love with, worth waking up to every morning. He was, of course, but he wasn't right for her. She could tell that there was something lurking beneath the surface that got caught in the way of their relationship.

James had been very sweet in showing her around the castle grounds, introducing her to people, telling her about the swarmy Slytherins. It had all been extremely fun. Come to think of it, Vyn couldn't have told you the last time she had this much fun.

"Hey, James." she answered when he had caught up to her. "Boring lesson, huh?"

"Yes, rather." James said, glancing behind him. Lily was walking with Sirius.

_Lily was walking with Sirius_?

Holy-bleeding-shit. What was going on there?Apparently, his astonishment was showing on his face, because Vyn looked at him curiously.

"Is there a problem, James?" she asked, following his line of sight to the couple a few yards behind them. Sirius was laughing at something, his head thrown back in mirth. If James hadn't been so angry, he probably would have noticed that Lily was pointedly staring away from him, as if she knew he was watching them.

"Yea-no." James answered, turning backaround. "I just thought I saw a ghost."

His lame joke caused Tevyn to smile. Yes, there was much more to James Potter than met the eye.

Because behind that happy facade he was wearing right now was a man who was so angry that he could strangle something. Tevyn knew this because she read the hurt and anger in his eyes.

Of course, she knew Sirius and knew that he was James' best friend. She also knew that the slight redhead beside him was the object of James' dreams.

Dreams that would come true? Tevyn smiled.

...Maybe.

---

Sirius grabbed Lily's arm and led her over to a sunny spot beside the lake. The closest couple was about fifty feet away, so they were pretty much alone. Lily was wondering what he was doing when he suddenly pulled out his wand and began charming the areas around them.

"Yeah...um, Black?" Lily muttered, attempting to get Sirius' attention. However, he ignored her and continued to conjure the most elegant lawn table and chairs she had ever seen.

But he didn't stop there, he then began to conjure up food to fill the table, glaring when the forks wrapped themselves wrong in the napkins. There was soon a huge pitcher of lemonade and finger sandwiches laid out on the pewter table.

Lily felt decidedly uncomfortable. Now, not only was he asking her to a lunch, he went completely overboard in preparing it.

Then, his ebony eyes turned to her, and lit up with a sudden idea.

"Why, my dear Lily! You can't eat lunch dressed like _that!_" he raised his wand.

"Sirius, don't-"

But Lily's words were cut short. With an incantation and a flick of Sirius' wand, she was adorned in a lovely, old-fashioned Spanish sundress. Even her hair was done, a ring of flowers on her head and the springy curls spilling over the sides onto her bare shoulders.

"_Sirius!_" Lily exclaimed, looking down at her outfit. It looked almost like she could have stepped out of one of those old movies, like Zorro or something. Except she was a redhead...and this wasn't Mexico.

"You do not like my handiwork?" Sirius asked. He, of course, was still in his school clothes.

Lily burst out laughing. How could she not? Sirius overdid everything to the extremes, and lunch was no exception.

"I love it." she said, trying to keep her face straight. She could not pretend to hate him when he was being like this, disarming and terribly proper.

He even pulled her chair out for her as she sat down, forcing the billowy red skirts under the table too.

He sat down across from her, raising the umbrella on the table and enveloping them both in a cool shade. He cocked an eyebrow, and Lily smiled again.

"Much better than James, eh?" he asked, winking and sitting back down again. "All he can conjure is a lousy pink umbrella! Hell, woman, I made you a whole feast."

Lily giggled, shaking her head in astonishment. How could she be having this much fun with a boy that she normally hated?

"Why were you drunk on the first day of school?" she asked, digging delacately into one of the tuna salad finger sandwiches.

"Trying to forget you, love." Sirius said seriously. Lily blushed slightly as his heated gaze traveled from her waist up.

"Honestly." she prompted, fanning herself with her hand.

"I dunno...sort of a kickoff to the year." Sirius said, his dark eyes not leaving hers as he popped a sandwich into his mouth.

"Where was Remus? I didn't see him for the entire first week." Lily asked, her pretty face going pensive.

"His Grandmother, you know." Sirius said gravely. "She got very ill."

"Oh." Lily said weakly, feeling bad for intruding on something that personal, even if Remus wasn't there. Lily wasn't a bad person, she just acted hateful around the Marauders.

Even now, her conversation was guarded, as if she were slightly on edge. Sirius could tell she was afraid of him.

"So what's between you and James?" Sirius questioned, seemingly out of the blue. He knew what was going on, but he wanted to know Lily's take on it.

"Nothing." Lily answered firmly. "Isn't James dating that girl..."

_Smart._ Sirius thought. _You are very smart, Lily Evans. If I were less intelligent I would actually fall for your 'Change the Subject' scheme. But I know you and I certainly know James._

"No." Sirius answered, just as firmly. "And you knew that."

"Of course I didn't!" Lily said adamantly. "I was just wondering."

"Honey, your emotions are written so clearly in those eyes of yours, even Peter could read them, and he can't even read his own handwriting." Sirius said conversationally, tipping back in his chair. "You like James, don't you."

"No. I can't stand him, and you're really getting on my nerves." Lily said, pushing her chair back and standing up.

"Ah, Lily. Leaving so soon?" Sirius asked, glancing at her.

"Thanks for lunch, Sirius." she answered shortly. She began to walk away, and Sirius chuckled.

She came back two minutes later, glaring at him as he sat leisurely in his chair.

"Change my clothes back." she declared, her small hands on her hips. Sirius raised an eyebrow, not looking at her. She rolled her eyes.

"_Please_."

-

Hilary sank back onto the soft sheets of her bed, her dark eyes fluttering shut as she laid her arm across her forehead.

It had been a much too stressful day.

She had failed a DADA quiz, gotten a detention for gum in Transfiguration, and been asked out by a creepy fourth year.

Way too much stress.

She was sinking into slumber when she heard a rustle near the door. She sat up, her dark brown eyes trying to see through the mundane darkness.

She squinted, barely being able to make out the door. Suddenly, a tall, looming figure appeared out of nowhere.

"Aah!" she yelped, grabbing whatever was closest to her and throwing it at the thing.

"_Damn_! Watch it, Jenson!" a deep, male voice exclaimed, throwing up his arms in front of his face. The thing she had almost hit him with hit the floor with a dull 'thud'.

"Do _not_ throw designer heels at me, you hear?"

"Sirius Black, get _out_ of my dormintory." Hilary hissed through clenched teeth.

"I needed to talk to you, before you tried to pummel me with shoes." Sirius said crankily, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"About what?" Hilary asked, suddenly curious.

"Lily and James, of course." Sirius said, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

_Of course._ Hilary thought, thinking she'd gone insane. _One of the hottest guys in school comes up to **my** dorm **at night!...**to talk about my best friend. Of course._

"What about them?" she asked.

"I have a plan on how to get them together." Sirius said. Even in the dark she could see the boyish spark that lit up his face. "And yes, Burghely, I know you're listening. Come over and join the fun."

Samantha Burghely smiled into her pillow, rolling over and padding quietly over to Hilary's bed. It wasn't every day that you got to plan conspiracies against your rival.

"You're very observant, Black." she complimented, nodding her head in his direction. "Now what is this plan of yours?"

"Okay." Sirius said. "But you guys have to really help me on this, no faltering. Alright?"

The three conspirators leaned their heads together as Sirius began to lay out the plan.

* * *

_Albus,_

_I have decided that the assignment we shall give the Head Boy and Girl will be to find a new system for the post to arrive in the morning, since so many students have complained about owl droppings in their breakfast. While they're at it, they might as well renovate the owlery as well. I hope you are satisfied. Are we still on for lunch the 24th?_

_Minerva_

* * *

Sirius quickly exchanged the note that McGonagall had given him with the one that Samantha had written the night before. Many people had commented on how alike their handwriting was, so Sam had been the perfect candidate to write the note. 

Hilary found it hard to keep from laughing as Sirius tossed her a quick wink from across the room.

"Make sure you deliver that straight to the Headmaster, as soon as he talks to you about your detention." McGonagall said, eyeing him angrily.

It had been very hard for him to keep from laughing as he purposely got a detention from her. He had found out about the project Dumbledore had given her only a few days ago, and this plan had come to his scheming mind only last night.

The decision to bring Hilary and Sam into the plan though, was a hard one. He had climbed into their dorm in the dead of night, making sure that Lily was out on patrol duty. He would deliver the false message to the Headmaster, dropping the real one into a bin along the way. Then it would only be a matter of time before the wheels were set in motion.

After a brief lecture on his behavior from Dumbledore, Sirius handed him the fake letter and walked out of his office, grinning slyly.

* * *

_Dear Albus,_

_I have completed the project you gave me before the start of the term. My decision is that the assignment for the Head Boy and Girl will be to plan and manage their pre-graduation party and ball, which will take place shortly after Christmas.._

_Lily Evans is a very diligent worker who will, no doubt, do very well on this. She may also be able to teach that James Potter some manners, since his are so ghastly._

_Yours,_

_Minerva McGonogal__

* * *

_

**"Interesting." Dumbledore mumbled. "Minerva spelled her name wrong. How odd...How odd indeed."****

* * *

**

**Lily **knew that she was late. She had finished with her lunch a few seconds too late and the bell had rung. She had still not gotten her books from the library, and this was the reason why she was running pell-mell down the hallways.

Her bag slung over her shoulder, she skidded into the dark dungeons like a wildwoman. She sprinted down the corner until she came to the potions classroom.

"Sorry Professor." she panted, accidentally slamming the door and causing everyone to look at her.

Professor Kelpily looked down his rather large nose at her, a deep frown etched into his brows.

"Please sit, Miss Evans."

Lily obeyed, forcing her breath back to normal. She brushed her hair out of her face and blushed as she noticed all the sneering glances being thrown at her.

_Cursed S__lytherins,_ she thought as she sank into a chair in the back. _Think they're on top of the bloody world._

"As I was saying." Kelpily said, looking down his nose again. "Today we will begin our study of the Buttreasu flower, and you will break up into your groups for the first time. First hour we will take notes, and the second hour you will begin your dissection of this flower. I hope you all remembered your dragonhide gloves."

And with that he waved his wand and their notes appeared on the board as he lectured, telling them all the properties and the anatomy of the flower.

Lily boredly, but diligently wrote down all this, her mind completely elsewhere. Her cheerfull mood had turned sour from breakfast. She was having a bad hair day, and she just remembered that she had to work with Sirius.

She glowered, pushing a little too hard on her quill and making a blot on the page. She sighed, pulling out her wand and vanishing the mistake.

"Miss Evans." Kelpily said, near her ear. Lily jumped and turned, knowing she was in trouble for doing magic in class.

But to her surprise, it was not Kelpily, but Sirius Black, who was laughing quietly at her shock. He actually did a very good impression of the stuffy professor.

"Doing magic in class..what? Hmm...that deserves a detention, it does." he said, his hand reaching out and skidding her paper around to face him. He read over her notes, and Lily watched in fascination as his black eyes darted back and forth.

"Sod off, Black." she hissed, not really meaning it. Her attitude towards him had somewhat lessoned of late, but by no means were they close friends. Well...Sirius thought they were, but then again, he was friends with _everybody._

"Charming little flower, she is." Black said, smiling and winking. "Almost as deadly as the one we're studying."

"_Shit_, Sirius!" she hissed, "I forgot section 'D' in our notes. Can I see yours?"

"Sure." he said brightly, handing his paper to her.

Lily looked at it blankly, and then giggled. Sirius was such a lunatic. He had not written down a word of what Kelpily had been explaining, but had instead written his name backwards at the top, above a scribbled picture of a Quiddich pitch. On the pitch was a figure on a broomstick with incredibly spiky hair...that could only be James...

Then, as she continued looking, the picture began to move. The picture James blew kisses at her and a little speech bubble flew out of his mouth.

"I'll catch the snitch for you anytime, baby." he was saying.

Lily snorted at this point, realizing too late that the entire class could hear her. This time, however, Kelpily turned from the board and made his way towards her, nostrils flaring.

"What is going on here?" he demanded, his eyes flicking from where Sirius' desk was pushed up against hers, and back to Lily.

"N-Nothing sir." Lily choked, going red from holding back her laughter.

"Aw, Me and Lily were just talking about the dissection, Sir." Sirius cut in smoothly. In a move Lily almost missed, he touched his paper, and it immedietely turned into a perfect copy of Lily's notes. Kelpily did not notice this, since he had that odd habit of looking at people over his nose.

"Lily and _I_." Kelpily corrected, but was nonetheless pleased that his students were such overachievers. "Well, carry on then. Anyway, it's time to break up into groups anyway. And by the way Black, those are excellent notes. You should teach your partner how to make them that well." he added, giving Lily a significant look.

Lily's mouth rounded into a little 'O', as she looked down at her paper. On it was a crude picture of a boy with glasses. Over the top it read 'I Lurve James Pottur', with the 'J' backwards, of course.

That had been the swiftest magic she had ever seen! Sirius had transfigured her paper without even her noticing!

She turned to him, grinning wryly.

"He thinks I'm an idiot, now." she said, punching him in the shoulder.

"He already did! Besides...the paper tells the truth." Sirius replied, dangling the horrible picture in front of her nose. She lunged for it, trying to grab it out of his hands, and she soon resorted to just hitting him.

"Ow! Dammit. _Uncle_." Sirius finally said, dropping the picture. Lily quickly vanished it, grinning smugly.

As she gloated over her victory, Lily looked at the boy beside her, who was currently doodling on his Potions book.

How did he manage to keep his grades up? She had never seen him take accurate notes, but he always seemed to get the highest grades on exams and things.

She shrugged. Maybe he just had a knack for Potions, like she did for Charms, and James did for-

_Stop it, stop it now._ She mentally punched herself. _Quit thinking about that idiot._

But poor Lily did not know that this was only the beggining.

---

"Patrol duty again tonight, Evans." Remus Lupin called to her at lunch. Her shoulders drooped. She was exhausted. She had stayed up late the night before finishing up her essay for Binns. And now she had just finished the chaotic class with Sirius, in which he had managed to rip her flower apart instead of carefully dissecting it.

She could have sworn that he was being an idiot on purpose, but it made her mad all the same. Sirius was normally fun to be around, except when he was in arrogant-prat mode. It was also awkward having to work with her incredibly handsome, if somewhat stupid ex boyfriend.

Lily grabbed some food and sank wearily into her seat at Gryffindor table. She stuffed a bit of biscuit into her mouth and chewed mechanically. She knew she must look like some sort of insane wraith, with her hair all mussed and her makeup smeared, but she honestly didn't care.

Perturbed by the closeness of all the other students, Lily decided to take her lunch outside. She picked up her purse and walked away, ignoring the odd look that Hilary sent her way. She hadn't spoken to her friend in a while, always seeming to be a rush to make it to the next class. She shrugged inwardly.

_I'll make it up to you later._ She thought. But she still felt guilty.

---

"You in there, James?" Vyn asked, pouting prettily.

"Not really." he answered. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Sure," Vyn answered, but James could see the furrow in her brow. She also had watched the pretty redhead walk stiffly out of the hall, and James was willing to bet his broomstick that Vyn knew he was going to follow her.

James stood up and quietly walked out the doors, noticing the bright red hair disappear around the left corner as he did. Odd, he thought. He had really thought she was going outside.

But Lily had decided she didn't want to be out in the sun, so instead she went through the open, airy corridor that overlooked the courtyard. It was pleasantly quiet and lonely in there, so that was where Lily wanted to be.

He found her sitting between the two poles of the window frames, her back against one, and her feet propped against the other, hugging her knees to her chest. The sun was glinting on her face, making her hair shine brightly againt her pale skin.

She just sat there, completely oblivious to the man watching her.

And he was watching her. He realized now why he couldn't get her off his mind. He _wanted _her. Wanted her so badly that right now he was aching for it, needing to touch her and be with her. If she only knew...

James leaned up against the wall, folding his arms across his chest.

As he watched her, the warm sun hit him full in the face, and his eyelids drooped lazily.

"Oh _Merlin!_" Lily gasped a few minutes later, turning to see him gazing at her under lowered lids. "What are you on about, Potter! How long have you been watching me?"

"Since September first, seven years ago, honey." he said lazily, his eyes roaming over her body. She looked so tempting, even in the prim uniforms. He knew that men drooled over her when she wasn't there to notice.

"Oh shove it, idiot." she snapped, hopping down off the windowsill. "You just ruined my day. Don't...don't _watch me_ anymore."

"But since I'm a crazy psycopath stalker...isn't that what I'm supposed to do?" he said, firing her own words back at her. Lily's mouth rounded, and she looked like she had been slapped.

"Oh! Do leave me alone." she finally said, clearly embarassed.

"Are you sure?" James asked, lowering his voice and smiling. Lily merely ignored him, brushing past him and attempting to stomp away.

But James was too quick for her. In a lightning-quick move, he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her around so that she smacked rudely against him. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her closer.

"I believe I said _'Leave me alone'_." Lily gasped between snarls. Her nostrils were flaring and the color had risen in her cheeks. James knew that she was about to fly off the handle.

"Did you really?" he drawled.

Lily caught a whiff of his honey-and-coffee scented breath, and her knees went slightly weak. She knew she should fight, should try to get away...but he felt so _good_.

_Stop mooning over him you idiot!_ She finally reprimanded herself.

James grinned as he saw a delightful twinkle creep into the redhead's eye. She disentangled her arms from him and let her fingers dance all the way up his chest, smiling naughtily as she did so.

James shivered at the sensation. Then he gasped when she planted her palms on his chest and pushed him roughly away, cackling like a banshee.

With that she lighted off down the corridor, her red hair swinging out behind her.

"I believe you've just been rather tricked." a voice called sarcastically from behind James. The dark-haired boy turned to see someone that he would rather not have.

"Observant, Malfoy. I'm surprised you could draw that conclusion all by yourself." James answered coolly. The blonde Slytherin was dressed impeccably in a pair of tan dress pants and a green shirt. But these clothes, however, did not hide the thinness of the Slytherin Seeker's frame.

"You're wondering why I'm not in uniform." Lucius said, his silvery voice edged with superiorority and sarcasm.

"Not really." James said, shrugging.

"Well, I'll tell you anyway. I have a meeting with the Minister of Magic." Lucius said nastily. "A bore, really."

"Why?" James asked.

Lucius' pale-blue eyes lighted up with a kind of malicious pleasure.

"He wants to speak to me about a job I might get, you know, unimportant things." Lucius shrugged, but knew that his barb had hit its mark. Everyone knew that James Potter's parents had always wanted him to go into the Ministry, but couldn't find an opening.

James' brow narrowed.

"Have fun with that." he said. The sarcastic remark didn't really irk him at the moment-he had much more important things on his mind.

And so James turned, walking swiftly back into the Great Hall, hoping he would catch Lily before she moved on to her next class.

* * *

"Did I do a good job?" 

"You bloody idiot. That was the most moronic excuse I've ever heard! And besides, you just had to _point _out-"

"Oh Eryn darling, don't worry. Potter is too thick to read the Daily Prophet. Of course he won't notice that the Minister is in Paris! All we have to worry about is that the plan gets carried out_ successfully._" Malfor said, stroking the chestnut hair of his companion.

Eryn sighed, her thin shoulders drawing together in exhaustion.

"We will make him happy. We will complete this mission." she said firmly.

"Naturally." Malfoy hissed, his eyes blazing as he watched Eryn walk stiffly away.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**Lily** bit into an apple, smiling as the sweet, soothing taste filled her mouth. She was seated on the bench of the Quiddich stands, working on homework. It was right after the end of school, and most everyone was in Hogsmeade. The November holidays began on Friday, so Dumbledore had added an extra Hogsmeade trip to help the seventh-years take off a bit of stress from all their extra work.

Lily Evans didn't take breaks. She was far too busy to go and 'hang out' with giggly Hilary and her little group of chick-friends. Besides, she had a huge Astronomy essay to work on. Besides, she had this weekend to go home to her family before returning to school on Monday.

The wind was blowing gently, but the summer heat had not yet left, even though they were deep into November. It was high time for the chills to come, but Lily definitely wasn't complaining.

Lily was so deep into her work that she didn't hear the voices at the bottom of the pitch at first. She looked up, seeing two figures walking on the springy turf of the pitch. Her eyes narrowed. She wished she had been alone.

James Potter laughed, his low, musical laugh that resonated throughout the entire stadium, and Lily shivered. The woman with him was unmistakably Tevyn, and that improved Lily's mood not one whit.

She watched, unnoticed by the pair, as James artfully 'pulled' a flower out from behind Tevyn's ear, listening to the girl giggle. Lily glared harder. If they were going to be sappy romantic fools, couldn't they do it elsewhere?

She finally stopped staring when a familiar pair of blue eyes looked up at her, and James waved. Lily ignored him, going back into her books.

"James, why does Lily hate you so much?" Tevyn asked,straightening her ponytail. James happy faced instantly vanished, his whole demeanor changing to one of grim indifference.

"No idea." he said, glancing skyward again. Lily was still writing frantically, pretending not to notice the couple. But James knew she had. Their eyes had locked for a millisecond, but that was enough for him.

I'm over her. He said silently, turning back to Tevyn. Vyn was actually a very pretty girl, with those dark chestnut locks surrounding her like a wave of copper. But I always liked flame.

No, Tevyn's eyes were just as pretty. But they weren't green and riveting.

James glared at himself, ignoring the little annoying part of his brain. He didn't need to be thinking about Lily Evans.

* * *

"No! Damn, stupid quill." Lily whacked her quill on the edge of the seat, trying to get the ink to flow again. A huge blot had appeared in the center of her parchment, but she didn't care. "You know, if you suck on the end, it comes out easier." A deep, baritone voice said beside her, and Sirius Black appeared. He was dressed in a loose long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans, and looked completely comfortable.

"Black, I hope that wasn't some twisted innuendo." Lily said humorlessly. She looked at him, not surprised to see the dancing light of mischief in his eyes.

"Of course not! Evans, you have a sick mind. I would never-"

"Save it." Lily said briskly. "I was just leaving, anyway."

"So soon?" Sirius asked, sitting down beside her and leaning back and stretching. "But I only just arrived."

"Exactly why I'm leaving." Lily replied, shoving her book and parchment into her bag. Sirius grabbed her wrist, glancing at her notes. He scoffed.

"Don't you ever take a break?" he asked coolly, handing her the parchment back. Lily blushed, avoiding his gaze.

"Of course! In the summer time." she added quietly. Sirius laughed. But then, he would. His entire life was about 'taking a break'.

"My dear little innocent flower." Sirius said, still smiling. "I believe I know what you need."

"A long, hot bath that does not involve any thought process?" Lily asked wistfully. Sirius grinned, leaning forward and brushing a scarlet hair off her cheek with his thumb.

"Though that holds much appeal, I was thinking more along the lines of a huge party." Sirius said. "Tonight. Would you like to go with me?"

Lily frowned. She knew that parties were outlawed on the Hogwarts grounds, and this sounded pretty fishy to her.

"I know the rules specifically say that we can't go to parties..." Sirius spoke up, as if reading her mind. "But don't you want to break at least one rule before leaving Hogwarts?"

Lily frowned. It would not be good to show up in public with her ex-boyfriend, but she was marvelously tempted by the offer.

"Besides, you owe me one after walking out on my lunch the other day." Sirius said, flashing his signature smile. Lily melted, and she knew that there was no way she could not go.

"Alright." she said hesitantly. "But on one condition..."

"Anything." Sirius said, smiling.

"No twisted little schemes on getting me to talk to Potter or his little girlfriend." Lily said, glaring at him. Sirius smiled sheepishly, and she knew that was precisely what he had been planning.

As Sirius melted back into that shadows, Lily was mentally punching herself. There was no way that she was getting out of this one...no way.

* * *

"Lily, what in heaven's name are you doing?" Hilary's distant voice called through the mundane darkness of the dorm room. "Dreading." Lily said simply, not moving. She was spread out on her bed, her arms laying idly above her head, and one leg falling off the edge. Her stare was blank, and she had no idea what time it was.

"Lily. What's wrong, honey?"

Hilary came over and sat on the edge of Lily's bed, and it occurred to Lily that she had never really had an honest conversation with this girl. They had an agreement, but it wasn't exactly a close friendship.

"I'm going out." Lily said blandly, still beating herself up inside. She knew that Hilary would be overjoyed and start that annoying giggling if Lily told her that she was going out with Sirius.

Hell, she was going out with Sirius. Her notorious ex. They were going to a party together.

Lily sat up straight, almost knocking Hilary off her bed. The girl smiled at the redhead. Lily turned her head lazily to the side.

"I'll see you later, Hill." she said quietly, picking her cloak up off the ground and glancing at the clock on her bedside table.

"Where on earth could you be going? It's 10:00!" Hilary called after her.

"Cover for me, will you?" Lily asked over her shoulder.

* * *

She wasn't going to show. Sirius thought nonchalantly. He was waiting by the school's double-doors, waiting for his beautiful ex-girlfriend. Or rather, ex-fling. The two had always done less talking and more snogging when they were together. He knew that Lily would stand him up, after she realized what she had agreed to. It just wasn't in her nature to have fun, unless she knew without a doubt that she couldn't get caught.

He remembered a few times when it had been she to suggest that they sneak out to Hogsmeade, a few years ago. That was back when Lily was fun, when Lily was-

"Waiting for me, were you?" her voice cut into his thoughts. Sirius smiled, knowing who it was before he even turned.

"Let's go, Lil. Don't want to miss anything interesting, would we?"

"Does that mean alcohol?" Lily asked, licking her dry lips and already regretting this. Sirius grinned. He knew perfectly well how Lily was around anything alcoholic. Give her one drink and she'd tell you anything...and she couldn't say no.

"Possibly." he said, taking her elbow and steering her away. The two did not speak anymore as they made their way to the forbidden forest.

Lily had no idea where this party was taking place, so she had to do something that was extremely hard and probably not too intelligent: trust Sirius.

He led her through the forest until they came to a huge, roaring bonfire that jumped out of the darkness like a bomb exploding right in front of Lily's eyes. There had to have been thousands of people there, and Lily immedietely balked.

Crowds made her nervous, and Sirius of all people should know that. She hated it when she felt insecure and surrounded, like a trapped beast who could not even see through her own dim blindfold of fear.

Sirius held out his arm, and Lily entertwined hers tightly with his. The two weren't on the best of terms, but she knew that there was no way she was letting him walk away without her.

Sirius' body was comforting, and Lily calmed down slightly. He was warm enough to condradict the chills that were zooming with painful eccentricity up and down Lily's spine.

She had only worn a light pair of jeans and a sweater, and it was by no means a warm night outside.

"Want a drink?" Sirius asked, his rumbly voice startling Lily as she observed the passing party-goers.

"Um...sure." she said. She reluctantly let Sirius disengage himself from her, and she leaned back against a tree, trying to remain invisible.

"Evans?" a woman's voice asked nastily nearby. Lily jumped and turned, only to see a familiar buxom female standing nearby, sipping firewhisky out of a paper cup.

"How'd you get in?" she asked nastily. Lily glared her worst death glare, all of her insecurity melting away as she was confronted with a challenge.

"You think I don't go to parties?" Lily questioned. "Think again, bitch."

Eryn seemed unmoved, she just continued to sip her alcohol. How she hated Lily Evans. She looked at the girl in front of her in distaste. Lily was dressed in a simple hooded sweater and jeans, but nonetheless had managed to snag one of the best-looking blokes there.

Why do the idiot men always fall for her? Eryn asked herself, surveying Lily through her piercing eyes that missed nothing. It's her air of innocence. She realized. Lily Evans might have been seventeen, but she was built like a skinny fourteen-year-old.

Eryn, on the other hand, was buxom and well-rounded in every aspect that counted, while all little Lily had to offer was her overlarge brain, and who wants that?

"Is this a scrutinizing party?" Lily asked nastily, folding her arms over her chest. "What do you want, Eryn?"

"I needed to talk to you, actually." Eryn said. "It's quite important."

Lily rolled her eyes. The seventh-year-Slytherin girl had talked to her all of twice, and the only reason Lily even knew who she was was partially because she was one of James' ex-girlfriends. It wasn't exactly a good situation.

"Talk." Lily spat.

"Are you always this disagreeable?" Eryn asked, her heavily-lipsticked lips turning upside-down in a cute little moue. Lily could tell why James had been so taken with her, she exuded a sort of charm that was a mystery, however shallow it may be.

"Yes. Now start talking before I walk away." Lily said, not really wanting to be seen with her.

"Alright, you little snarky bitch." Eryn began, her charm disappearing quick as a blink. "I will tell you once, and only once. Stay away from my property."

Lily was quite taken aback. What in heavens name could she be talking about?

"Huh?" was all she could spit out.

"You know what I mean." Eryn said, moving closer to Lily and hissing in her ear. "You stay away from James, or you will face the consequences."

* * *

"What was that all about?" a voice startled Lily out of her reverie. She was wearing an obviously-shocked look on her face, and Sirius grinned slightly. It was the first time he had ever seen her truly speechless.

"S-she t-thought-" Lily was sputtering indignantly. "She thought I liked Potter! That I was attracted to him!"

Sirius grinned again, fighting the urge to laugh out loud. Lily was obviously flabbergasted at the insinuation of the sneaky Eryn. He could see the thunder raging violently in her smoky green eyes, and he knew that she was about to blow up.

"Your drink?" He offered, handing her the dixie cup. Lily took it with numb hands, downing it quickly.

She looked almost relieved as the biting alcohol trickled down her throat, and Sirius was mildly surprised. He had never seen anyone but Remus take firewhisky that easily.

She relaxed almost instantly, and Sirius remembered that she had a weak head for alcohol. It was apparent even now, after little less than eight ounces of the mixture.

However, he knew of the potency of firewhisky, and he didn't want to get her sick.

"Can I have another?" she asked, her eyes already glazing over.

"No, honey." Sirius said quietly. "There isn't any more."

Lily frowned, evidently trying to get her fuddled mind to wrap around this new information.

"Sirius, I may be mildly drunk, but I'm not stupid. Please get me another? Don't make me wheedle." Lily said, her eyes meeting his and twinkling slightly. Sirius groaned, if she was going to start teasing him like this, he'd ger her a whole bottle of firewhisky!

"I'll be back, love." he said, giving her a quick, wet kiss on the cheek. Lily giggled madly, leaning back against the tree. This was what she was missing, this was Lily, and it felt good.

"Care to dance?" Lily heard someone ask her in a dim corner of her brain. She knew that voice, and after a few seconds associated it with the face of a familiar boy; a Ravenclaw by the name of Steven Johns.

"Sure." Lily said, throwing caution to the wind and taking the offerred hand. He led her out beside the fire, and the roaring music penetrated through Lily's fogged mind.

She hated being so un-resistant to alcohol, but she also loved the wild, uncontrolled feeling she got even when slightly intoxicated. Like now, she was dancing wildly with someone she hardly knew, but she didn't care at all.

She caught a glimpse of someone she thought was Sirius, but it turned out to be his brother-Regulus. Lily mourned silently, for in a dark corner of her heart she had wished that Sirius had come to rescue her.

"What are you doing later, sugar?" Steven's hot, whisky-soaked breath asked against her cheek. Lily tried to frown, but only succeeded in a weak grimace.

Before she could answer, however, she felt someone roughly grab her arm and jerk her out of the boy's embrace. Lily was dragged halfway through the forest before she came to her senses.

* * *

"Who the hell-?" Steven's voice rang out as he charged after them. "Get off her, you oaf!"

Lily felt her attacker turn, felt his body radiate an anger such as she had never seen before.

"Get away, runt." he growled, low in his throat. "Before I rip you to pieces."

"Potter." Steven hissed. "I shoulda known you'd come after her." And with that, the younger boy turned and sauntered back to the party, leaving Lily alone in the grasp of her furious savior.

"Who do you think you are!" Lily asked finally, ripping herself out of James' grasp.

"I think I am the person that just saved you from that-that slime!" James said, still furious. He folded his arms across his broad chest, and Lily glared right back, placing her hands on her hips.

"Are you my mother?" she asked vehemently. "I can dance with whomever I want!"

"Lily, Lily, Lily." he replied scathingly. "You are too innocent to even understand-"

"Try me." Lily said dangerously. "All you ever do, Potter, is walk around giving orders, pushing people's buttons and then walking away! Why me? Why do you even care! I was having a perfectly good time-"

"You mean when he was practically trying to get inside of you out there?" James asked, gesturing wildly. "Believe me, Lily, it would have only been a matter of time before-"

"And who's to say I wouldn't have let him?" Lily asked viciously. James stopped, stunned. Her eyes blazed into his with surprising seriousness,even though she knew in her heart that she never would have accepted the Ravenclaw's offer. She also was incredibly grateful for James' rescuing of her, but she would never never admit it.

"I'll leave you to that, then." James said abruptly, turning away and stalking into the forest. Lily felt like she had been slapped. She had only realized how safe his presence had made her feel after he had left.

* * *

"Evans." a low purr of a voice greeted her as she re-entered the party. Her intoxication must have disappeared at her anger at James, and she instantly knew that Steven had been waiting for her. "Hello, again." Lily said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"Dance, again?" he asked, jerking his head toward the throng of dancers. Lily shook her head, swallowing a lump in her throat.

"...But maybe we can just talk?" she asked hopefully, not wanting to be left alone.

"Sure." Steven said, taking her elbow and leading her over to a small huddle of logs, which were serving as benches for the partying youngsters. He sat down beside her, handing her another drink.

Lily sniffed it warily, then smiled happily when she realized that he had gotten her lemonade. Even though he had been dancing rather unscrupulously, Steven seemed like a pretty nice guy.

"So tell me about yourself." She said airily, beggining to feel comfortable. This was fun. She could do this. There was no danger.

"I'm in Ravenclaw, play on the Quiddich team...parents dead, brother-in St. Mungo's. The usual." Steven replied, brushing his mud-colored hair off his forehead. Lily was shocked at the nonchalant way he told her this. If her parents were dead-she sure wouldn't be announcing it to strangers! She'd probably be crying helplessly in her dorm room.

"That's...awful." Lily said, her happy mood quickly gone. Steven just looked at her with those strange amber eyes of his. There was something odd about those eyes...

"It's nothing. I'm over it." he said airily. "But what about you? Head Girl, goody-goody Evans? If you pardon my asking, what in hell are you doing out here, partying instead of studying with the snooty Ravenclaws?" Lily giggled at his sarcasm.

"Aren't you a Ravenclaw?" She asked.

"Yes." Steven replied, still gazing at her with those weird, uncomfortable eyes.

"Does that make you snooty?" Lily asked playfully, throwing her empty cup of lemonade at him.

"Nope. I'm a complete procrastinator and a complete idiot. No idea how I got into the 'smart house'. But you never answered my question." he said, blinking. As Lily stared at him, she realized what was wrong with his eyes. They were dead.

Dead, dead, dead eyes.

Isn't that odd? She thought, chewing her lip. How can someone have dead eyes? They didn't move or dance like Sirius', and they weren't even cold and frighteningly furious like James', or even hazy and impersonal like Hilary's. They were...dead.

Lily stood up, rather abruptly. Something had clicked in her brain, and she knew that this was wrong. Something was wrong. A panic switch in her brain went off.

"I have to find Sirius." She said, more to herself than to the surprised Steven. She grabbed her litter off the ground and rushed into the throng of people.

* * *

Something was definitely wrong. The music had stopped, and people had begun to shriek wildly, the dancers squishing even tighter together. Lily tried to worm her way through, but her efforts were to no avail. The darkness of the night seemed magnified by the tenfold, except she was standing almost right next to the blazing fire.

Only, the fire wasn't really blazing anymore. Lily was so shocked at this that she turned, and saw the fire flash white, sending sparks far into the sky.

She screamed, and felt herself spinning as people crashed against her on both sides. The fire was now a bright, eerie green, but Lily could see something, something...

A black shape had appeared in the fire, flying high into the air before returning to a hovering state directly above the fire. The torches that people had stuck into the ground flickered, and Lily saw the light reflect off the eyes of the person next to her.

The thing that happened next was the most terrifying thing that Lily had ever experienced in her entire seventeen years of life.

The world went black.

* * *

**OMG. I am sooo sorry this took so long. Someone remember to yell at me next time I take this long to update.**

**Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking. I assure you the next update will be much SOONER.**

**Also...remember reviews inspire me to update. A LOT.**

**cheers**

**Pia**


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: Highly mature situations in this chapter.**

**SORRY it's been forever. I have no idea where I disappeared to. This is the longest cliffhanger I have ever given...but here ya go. LoL!**

**Sorry again.**

_

* * *

_

RECAP

_Something was definitely wrong. The music had stopped, and people had begun to shriek wildly, the dancers squishing even tighter together. _

_Lily tried to worm her way through, but her efforts were to no avail. The darkness of the night seemed magnified by the tenfold, except she was standing almost right next to the blazing fire._

_Only, the fire wasn't really blazing anymore. Lily was so shocked at this that she turned and saw the fire flash white, sending sparks far into the sky._

_She screamed, and felt herself spinning as people crashed against her on both sides. The fire was now a bright, eerie green, but Lily could see something, something..._

_A black shape had appeared in the fire, flying high into the air before returning to a hovering state directly above the fire. The torches that people had stuck into the ground flickered, and Lily saw the light reflect off the eyes of the person next to her._

_The thing that happened next was the most terrifying thing that Lily had ever experienced in her entire seventeen years of life._

_The world went black._

_

* * *

_

**The world went black.**

Never before had Lily ever felt a darkness so consuming, so entirely terrifying. Like cold, prying fingers, the darkness seeped through her pores, sinking into her very _soul._

Something was very, very wrong.

Frantically, Lily began to cry. There was nothing, nobody, absolutely _no one. _Even the people she had been brushing shoulders with were gone. There was no contact on any side of her. But the feeling of fear and anguish Lily felt then was nothing near what she would experience next.

And then, out of the nothingness, there was a bright flash of green. The wind roared, and Lily at last heard other people. The people around her screamed, and dull thudding noises echoed throughout the now-silent forest as they fell to the ground.

Strangely, Lily remained standing. The tears streamed, but Lily was still standing.

Then, another flash of green. Lily's eyes strained to see what it was, but it was gone too quickly, leaving her once again in quiet darkness.

Finally, the last flash of green, as if someone was striking a match. The flame ignited on something, and it took Lily's eyes a few seconds to realize that the flames were engulfing a _person._

In fact, this person was floating above the once-roaring fire, whose embers were now simmering only slightly, their flames tinged with a slight green hue. The green tongues of flame were licking the hem of the person's black cloak, embracing his outfit like...like a lover.

As Lily's eyes traveled upwards, the face of the person was enough to make her scream aloud. It was...it was _him._

_**Interesting**._

The voice echoed throughout Lily's mind, and her smart brain quickly concluded that this..this man was a Legilimens. She tried to force the other thought out of her mind, the thought that she was standing face-to-face with-

"Who are you?" she asked, tears running down her face like raindrops. The figure merely cackled, an evil, high-pitched cackle that melted Lily's very bones.

_**It's interesting, Miss Evans, to think that this would be the place that I meet you for the first time. Indeed, I am quite shocked.**_

"Who the bloody fuck are you?" Lily screamed, the tears ceasing. There would be no more fear for her. It was now replaced by pure, undiluted anger. If this individual was foolish enough to pretend to know her, she would be foolish enough to stand up to..him, it.

_**Do you not know?**_

That was it. Lily sobbed quietly, and it seemed strangely loud to her own ears. This was _him. _He was trying to trick her into playing mind games until he finally decided to kill her. She braced her muscles, preparing to run fast and far into the other direction.

All around her, the dancers who had been knocked to the ground were standing up, looking confused. Lily willed them with her mind to get down...run, anything!

"RUN!" she screamed, turning on her heel and sprinting into the forest. She didn't look back.

The Dark Lord cackled once again, it's haunting tone flirting with the forest sounds, overriding Lily's own inner strength. She knew she had no chance of escape, especially when other dark, cloaked figures appeared around the fire, jumping into the crowd and attacking anyone in reach.

Lily tried to block out the horrible sounds of agony, and just run. But it was to no avail. The tears in her eyes blurred her vision, and she failed to see the tree stump that stuck obstinately up from the forest ground.

Lying on her face in the mud, Lily shivered. There was nowhere to go, no one to help her. It was strange that now would be the time for her to think about all the stories she had heard about Voldemort.

He had been running amok throughout Britain, killing random muggles with his ragtag group of miscreants. Lily had thought of him as a nuisance, a small occurrence that the Ministry would take care of. But no.

She could tell by the feel of terror, the cold, dead chill that erupted on her skin when he spoke, that this man would be terrorizing the world for years to come. He was more than a nuisance, he was a terror. Hearing about him in the papers was nothing like meeting the man in real life. He was evil incarnate.

Lily finally stopped crying, trying to hear over the screams of people in the distance. If one of the cloaked figures was going to come near her, she wanted to know about it. Above everything, she heard the diabolical laughter of the cat-eyed, devilish fiend that had spoken to her moments before. Lily shuddered again, and would have missed the sounds near her if she had not felt a twig snap near her face.

Her head immedietely snapped up, and Lily was forced to choke back a scream.

"_Steven!"_ she whisper-screamed, crawling over to his prone body. The boy was laying on his side on the damp ground, dark blood staining his cloak. His face had paled, yet she could see his lips standing out strangely from the paleness. His eyes were huge and intense, beckoning her closer.

"_Lily._" he whispered through his cracked, blood-stained lips. Lily picked up his head and placed it in her lap, crossing her knees under her. She could tell that his side was cut open, along with his cheek. She also realized there was nothing for her to do.

The tears came almost silently, blinding her with their saltiness. They dripped along the edge of her nose, landing on the corner of Stephen's chin.

"_Prophecy." _Stephen said suddenly, startling Lily. She blinked the tears away and looked back into his eyes, startled again when she saw that they were different, they had changed from earlier.

"Prophecy? What prophecy, Steven?" she asked quietly, stroking the damp hair away from his forehead. Lily had no idea what the Deatheaters had done to him, and she also knew that any charms she tried to administer on him could reverse their healing effect and just kill him quicker. She tried to block out that part of her mind that was thinking about this boy that she hardly knew was _dying _in her very _arms_.

"_About you and," _Stephen broke off coughing, a bubble of blood forming at the edge of his lips. "_Potter._"

"Potter?" Lily asked, bewildered. She was so disoriented, confused, and frightened out of her mind. The only thing that was going through her mind at that moment was: _Potter? I know a Potter? Oh. I wonder where he is right now..._

"_Yes. _Don't let _her_ get at you! She will use the _Imperius_, Lily!" Stephen then began to cough, and Lily's tears returned with new force. Great, racking sobs issued from the girl as she felt the life slip wordlessly out of this young man's body, leaving nothing in her arms but a shell of a being.

Lily felt herself hit the ground, but she did not feel the gentle fingers that brushed her cheek.

* * *

Lily awoke to feel herself squished between two walls. Her head was spinning angrily, (probably an aftermath of the alcohol) and her right wrist was throbbing rather painfully. Upon opening her eyes, she immedietely began to cry again.

"Shhhh..." someone said, and Lily nearly swallowed her tongue. Her quick mind quickly deducted that no, she was not caught in the clutches of a villain, and no, she most certainly could _not_ be where she was at this moment.

Could her life get any worse? She moaned quietly.

A boy had just lost his LIFE! He had been laying in her LAP! Did she HAVE to wake up squished between a brick wall and...James Potter?

She moaned again, but this time a hand clapped over her mouth. Lily struggled for a moment, and then the moments of the previous hour came flooding back to her.

"Quiet." James hissed, his warm breath hitting the exposed shell of her ear. "I've only just gotten us away. Do you want to get us caught again?"

Lily shook her head as best she could, with her head up against the wall and James' huge hand over her face. With the sane half of her mind, she tried to comprehend the situation. The other half just wanted to quail under this boy's strong, hard body and never come out.

Any other time Lily would have fought and struggled until James left her alone, but her very _life_ was in danger. She could see through a small crack between James' hair and ear. She could see the Forbidden Forest in the distance, along with the rippling calmness of the lake.

Somehow, James Potter had managed to lug her unconcious body from its spot in the woods all the way to this niche in the Hogwarts castle (where they were very well hidden by the way).

The night closed in about them, and Lily shuddered again. She was terrified that _he _would jump out and start speaking in her head again, in that _voice _of his. It was as if his very voice had murdered Stephen, the Ravenclaw with dead eyes. Lily shuddered a third time, trying to get the vision of Stephen's glassy visage out of her mind.

"Evans?"

Lily heard James' voice again, in the dim corner of the other half, the insane half of her mind. He must have been saying her name for a few minutes because he sounded mildly irritated.

"Yes?" she choked out, her once-pretty voice coming out in a horrible croak.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Only now did Lily realize that his hand had slipped from her mouth to her shoulder, where it was kneading her skin slowly, comfortingly.

She was about to nod when she shook her head. She didn't think she'd ever be okay again. To her complete astonishment, James buried his head in her shoulder, his arms slipping about her waist and pulling her away from the wall and completely onto him.

Lily would have collapsed if his strong arms had not held her up. She had never felt so vulnerable in her entire life. And to think, it just _had_ to be him. James Potter.

"Let's go into the castle." the dark-haired boy who was holding her said, after a few minutes of just human comfort. Lily nodded against his cotton shirt, feeling the wetness of her tears that had dampened his shirt front.

James released her, and Lily felt a strange sense of loss. However, his warm hand reached out and grabbed hers, his fingers stroking hers as he gently tugged her out of their crevice. Lily realized that she was covered in a silvery cloak of some kind. An invisibility cloak, her sane mind concluded.

James Potter owned an invisibility cloak.

She shrugged mentally. _Details, Evans. Minor details. _

The walk from the niche in the wall to the doors of the Great Hall seemed entirely too long, and Lily clung to James the entire time. She was sure he was getting some sort of sadistic pleasure out of this, but she didn't care. Didn't _care._

She couldn't remember how James had opened the door, couldn't remember walking up the stairs, but somehow they did, and here they were.

Lily came to her senses again just when they were about to enter Gryffindor common room. There was the portrait hole, there was the fat lady. Everything was normal-perfect even. All untouched by the evil that was happening outside.

James was about to open his mouth to say the password, but something stopped him. His dark eyes traveled down to hers, and Lily gasped.

She knew what he was offering, she _knew. _And she wanted it. She didn't want to go into the common room, not with everything perfect and pristine and her being so...so _dirty _and wrong. She didn't want to ruin that perfection, not after what she'd _seen_.

Lily twined her fingers even tighter against James' and nodded. She let her eyes lock with his for a few seconds, and saw something flick through his brilliant orbs. It was...triumph? Joy?

She shrugged mentally again, willing herself not to _care_, not to think. Tonight was for her.

* * *

James led Lily along an unknown corridor, lifting her up the trick stairs and sheilding her from the gaze of the poltergeist, Peeves. Lily had no idea where they were going, but it didn't matter. 

James still had her hand, and he was leading her along a dark hallway.

When he reached a spot in the wall, he stopped so suddenly that Lily went 'thunk', her head hitting right between his shoulder blades. She looked up at his shadowed face, wondering what was going through his mind.

He seemed to be concentrating hard enough, but on _what? _Lily hadn't the faintest idea what was contorting his face into that thoughtful expression. She looked over at the door and jumped when she saw the door that had appeared out of nowhere. It was a curious door, with runes and moon-markings scratched into the top, as if by the work of an ancient artist.

The wood was gently polished, and a silver moon carving stood out plainly of the oak, mezmerizing Lily. She nudged her enemy gently in the ribs, wondering.

"What is it?" she asked, meaning the door.

"The entrance to the Head boy's room." James said, and Lily wondered why she did not know this already. Oh, yes! That's right. This was her _enemy_. This was _James Potter. _They didn't normally converse about topics such as these. Actually, they didn't really converse at all.

James touched the wall, and Lily noticed how his fingertips slid into small impressions in the door, opening it automatically. The door was soundless, opening inward into a circular, well-decorated room.

Lily's head spun once more. What was she doing here? Her hands tingled at the remembrance of the past few hours, and unbidden, the face of Steven popped into her mind.

She stopped just before going over the threshold of the room. James tugged on her arm, but Lily would not budge. James finally resorted to hooking one arm under the back of her knees and one under her back, lifting her small form easily into the room.

The room was painted a dark chestnut color, and Lily was oddly reminded of Tevyn's vibrant hair, but she quickly shook this thought away, thinking dimly about the boy who was currently holding her. The lights were not turned on, and she could not see what he was thinking by looking at him.

He carried her all through his room and into an ajoining room, which turned out to be the bathroom. James instantly sat her down and turned on the tap to the bathtub, coming over to her and beginning to peel off her clothes, layer by layer.

Lily did not even think twice about this, her mind still miles away, thinking about death and destruction. What would happen if Voldemort's ilk managed to get ahold of her family? What would she do in this world?

She was still thinking about this when she felt herself being lifted gently into the warm water, feeling a sponge run all over her body. James washed away the blood, (Stephen's blood, Lily thought grimly) the dirt, and the grime from being shoved up against a brick wall.

He slid his calloused fingers through her long hair, cleaning it with a sweet-smelling shampoo that smelled like something familiar that Lily could not place. Afterwards, he pulled her out of the tub, drying her thoroughly with a fluffy, huge towel.

He then carried her back into his room, depositing her on his four-poster and putting one of his long, clean smelling t-shirts on her. Lily only paused to think about all of this when he pushed her under the covers, pulling them up to her chin.

James turned to walk away, pulling off his shoes and switching out the light. Lily sat up, suddenly afraid.

"James!" she cried to the darkness. She did not want to be alone on this night, this horrible, horrible night. She heard him pause, heard his stockinged feet pad lightly back over to the bed. "Don't leave me." she whispered, clutching the bedclothes.

She did not relax until she felt the left side of the bed sag under his weight, felt him roll beneath the covers.

"Scoot over." he said, his voice silky. Lily obeyed, feeling her knees brush his under the sheets. She cowered for a moment, but finally her eyelids drooped from exaustion, and her grip on the covers eased.

* * *

Lily awoke a few hours later to a horrible nightmare about the eyes of Lord Voldemort. She whimpered, nearly jumping out of her skin when she felt someone touch her. 

She relaxed, however, when she was pulled up against a warm, strong body. James stroked her now-dry locks, which were lying unbound on the white pillows. He softly crooned to her, bringing her back from the world of dreams. As he played with her loose locks, he realized what a perfect fit she was for this bed.

Her creamy skin was set off by the starkness of the sheets, her vibrant hair spilling softly like warm, shining toffee atop the pillows. He felt muscles tighten as her soft body nestled up against him.

Lily's eyes were wide and fearful, and she looked up at him in surprise. She dried her tears for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, her brilliant green orbs gazing deep into his.

"_James_." she whispered, deathly quiet. Her eyes burned his with an unspoken question, a need.

James groaned inwardly, fearing for his sanity. He knew he should not take advantage of her vulnerability, her fear. It would be to comfort her, to drive away all the fear and pain she had just witnessed. How could he turn down an offer like that from a girl he had been in l-no. had fancied for the past seven years?

He shrugged. He couldn't, and that was that.

Lily was not expecting The Kiss. The Kiss happened with frighting speed, containing an air of gentleness and tenderness she had never experienced before. She had been kissed, oh yes, but nothing like this. The Kiss was different, it was _James._ Her lips parted instantly, allowing his tongue to push past them and enter her warm, moist mouth.

His tongue traced every tooth, inspected every corner, and Lily groaned against him, her mind whirling in passion. The Kiss was special, and she was certainly not denying that.

James' hands came up to her waist, pulling her against him and letting his hands explore her body. It was just as he had always imagined, with Lily eagerly helping him at every turn. His mouth finally left hers, leaving them both gasping for breath.

Lily felt his lips on her eyelids, her cheeks, her chin, and she nearly moaned again when he began to explore the swanlike column of her neck with his lips, teeth, and tongue. Gently, his fingers gripped the edges of the t-shirt she was wearing, pulling it up and over her head and throwing it away from them.

Lily shivered at the sudden exposure to the night air, but James quickly warmed her by covering her with his body. His hands sneaked up to her breasts, cupping them and kissing them gently. Lily looked at him in wonder as his mouth fastened onto a nipple, but there was no time for thought when he began to tug on it with his lips and tongue.

She arched against him, her arms snaking up and her fingers raking frantically through his hair, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. She actually managed to open a few before James moved to the other breast, wreaking the same havoc on her senses.

He then stopped, and Lily wanted to cry. It had been so _good. _He looked at her, his eyes smouldering. She reached for him, but he stood up, quickly divesting himself of the rest of his clothes.

Lily pulled him to her with eager hands as soon as he got back onto the bed, and their two bodies locked together, every curve fitting perfectly. She had never felt so _alive _in her entire life. She wanted to kiss him, but James leaned down again, continuing his exploration of her torso.

His hands moved across her waist, spanning it and gently caressing the soft skin there. His finger even dipped into her navel, and Lily arched again, moaning. But she stopped moving altogether when she felt his fingers tap along the insides of her thighs. He then moved closer, his mouth going along the same route.

Lily shuddered when she felt him slip a finger oh so slightly into her, and it was then that she realized the magnitude of the act they were about to perform. This was _James Potter..._James Potter who was making her feel so _good. _Lily had a feeling she was making a huge mistake, but right now, she was beyond caring.

His finger pushed in and out of her a few times, and Lily felt herself teetering, teetering...then oh _yes. _Her body shuddered with such an intense pleasure that it _hurt. _James felt her finally go over the edge and pulled her to him, not nearly finished yet. He was extremely aroused, and he knew that there was no turning back now. He fastened his lips to hers again, pressing her against his naked body.

Lily gripped his arms tightly, and without warning he plunged into her. Lily got the strangest feeling of tearing, and a bit of pain, but then he was inside of her with wonderful fullness. It was mildly uncomfortable at first, but then James began to move, sending Lily completely over the edge.

The two young people both flew high that night, both experiencing a depth of passion they had never even imagined. When it was over, James rolled away, pulling Lily into his arms and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *


End file.
